Sam “FU” Zell portrait in an automaton titled Zell 2012. Bidding starts at $500.

Sam “FU” Zell was man of unusual tastes. That is, if he had any taste, which he didn’t, based on my experience during the debacle of the Zell years at the Los Angeles Times.

“Crude, gaudy and tacky,” seem to sum up Mr. “FU” Zell (as The New York Times would refer to him) and that’s an apt description of a collection of his weird automata (I would add “malfunctioning”) that’s coming up for auction later this month. They span the years 1995 to 2015 with a gap at 2008, perhaps because Mr. “FU” Zell was too busy telling his newly acquired Tribune employees “FU.”

Mr. “FU” Zell  died last year, much to the world’s improvement. His widow, Helen, is a generous donor to the arts groups in Chicago –and I should note that although the Los Angeles Times during the Zell years rarely contributed to the local arts organizations, it gave sumptuously to their counterparts in CHICAGO.

Such was the wit and wisdom of Mr. “FU” Zell, who memorably told an employee during a meeting of the recently acquired Orlando Sentinel: “FU.”

But that’s a gripe for another time. I’m here to dance on the grave of the “Grave Dancer” (or “Saltator Sepulchri” because nothing adds class to crappy artwork like a Latin phrase).

Mr. “FU” Zell commissioned these grotesque, tacky little automata to give to his friends (and apparently he had some, which surprises me. I suppose he only told them “FU” occasionally). Some of his “friends” have been selling off these little gizmos, and you can bid on them at an auction May 19. Most of them are inoperable and require power bricks that aren’t provided, to which Mr. “FU” Zell would undoubtedly say “FU” if he hadn’t died last year.

Based on the auction’s description and the YouTube videos, the automata apparently feature a recording of Mr. “FU” Zell, and a musical selection.

As always, an item should be evaluated thoroughly before submitting a bid.

The Bureaucratic Shuffle, 1995, possibly the first of Sam “FU” Zell’s gifts to his “friends.”

The Internet being what it is, there are even YouTube videos of some of these amusing little items. Sadly, an artist doesn’t seem to be credited and I cannot imagine why.

Until Mr. “FU” Zell’s mechanical amusements receive the catalogue raisonné they surely deserve, here is a handy field guide:

Let’s Do It, 1996.

Liquid Real Estate, 1997.

The Whole World In Our Hands, 1998.

The Emperor Has No Clothes, 1999.

No Free Lunch, 2000.

The Emperor Has No Clothes, 1999, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

No Free Lunch, 2000, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

The Engine That Can, 2001, up for auction with bidding starting at $500. Absolutely grotesque. I can imagine the unidentified artist going out for a couple of drinks before embarking on Zell’s dictated design.

Get Over It, 2002, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Wired Exports, 2003, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

This Land, 2004, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

The Theory of Relativity, 2005, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Sarbox, 2006, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Confusion, 2007, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Survival of the Fittest, 2009, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Think It Over, 2010, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Tender Credibility, 2011, up for auction with bidding starting at $500. Grotesque, isn’t it?

Sam Zell, 2012, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

Consensus, 2013, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

How Low Can You Go? 2014, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.

View From Above, 2015, up for auction with bidding starting at $500.