Paul V. Coates — Confidential File, May 30, 1959

May 30, 1959, Pogo

Isn't it amazing how much Pogo looks like Calvin of "Calvin and Hobbes?"

 

Confidential File

Mash Notes and Comments

Paul Coates(Press
Release) "Washington, D.C. — According to Congressman Craig Hosmer,
sponsor of the Interior Department's 10-year, $10 million research
program aimed at practical conversion of salt water to fresh water, it
takes 660,000 gallons of water to make a ton of synthetic rubber,
200,000 gallons to grow a ton of alfalfa, and seven gallons to flush a
toilet…"
(signed) Rep. Craig Hosmer, 530 House Office Building, Washington D.C.

— So that's what you were doing in there all that time. Charlie Halleck was beginning to worry about you.

::

"Dear Ms. Coates —

"The other day I was witness to a very deploring incident.

"A
driver ran a red light and was immediately stopped by an officer. The
driver put up such a big fuss and even cussed the policeman. He knew he
was wrong, but still he insisted he was right.

"Later, when I got home, I was inspired to write the following:

May 30, 1959, Cover When a policeman stops you on the street,
Because of a signal you didn't beat,
Don't blow your top or alibi.
He saw you do it, so don't lie!
Instead, give him your co-operation
Because you're guilty of a violation:
And the ticket that he hands you then
Is to tell you, "Don't do it again."
The officer is not your foe —
That is something you should know.

He is there for your protection.
And for accident prevention.
So, if a policeman you happen to meet
While you're walking down the street,
Don't turn your head the other way;
You might have need of him some day.

"I
read your column every day and enjoy it very much. You and Dear Abbey
make my evening complete." (signed) Arthur M., Los Angeles.

–You and your poems make me sick.

::

(Press Release) "NEW YORK, N.Y., —
Lithe and lovely Audrey Hepburn has gone 'animal' for the June issue of
Cosmopolitan magazine.

May 30, 1959, Carbo "In a photo series of animal-imitative
exercises for relaxation and muscular tone, Audrey displays a hitherto
unrevealed facet of her multi-sided talents by portraying as beautiful
a menagerie as will be seen anywhere in the world.

 " 'Actually,'
explains Audrey in Cosmopolitan, 'animals never have bad posture, nor
are they ever clumsy. I've tried to incorporate what I've seen in
animals so that the human body can benefit.'

"For purposes of
demonstrating the beauty and fluidity of animal movements and control,
the elfin beauty has donned a flaming red leotard, and in the natural
grass lawns of the 'Green Mansions' set, she runs a gamut of exercises
inspired by the fawn, the monkey, the sloth as well as the crane, the
lynx and many others from the animal kingdom.

"For those who
have never actually seen a beautiful monkey, the color-filled,
Audrey-dominated pages of June Cosmopolitan are highly recommended."
(signed) Heart Magazines, 250 W. 55th St., New York City.

–Yes. But what do you recommend for those of us who have?

About lmharnisch

I am retired from the Los Angeles Times
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