Matt Weinstock — April 28, 1959

Stop the Music

Matt_weinstockdIn the event
you hadn't heard, music is broadcast over the City Hall loudspeaker
system. Maybe not the best music, but music. Now an anonymous city
employee asks bitterly, "Why must we be submitted to this torture?"

In
a letter to councilmen and other city officials this disenchanted
person writes, "We are not workers doing monotonously routine and
repetitive tasks during which music would be welcome relief. We are not
patients in an asylum who must have music as therapy to rouse us from
our stupor or to calm us in our frenzy. We are not sitting in doctors'
offices to be soothed while we contemplate our ills and bills; nor are
we in some secluded rendezvous whiling away the time. We are in the
City Hall, eight hours a day, trying to do a day's work without
distraction."

THE DISSENTER
goes on, "Should you enter
our beautiful rotunda you are apt to be greeted with the strains of
'Embraceable You' or 'I Don't Want to Walk Without You, Baby' or 'It's
Been a Long, Long Time.' This is dignity in the City Hall?"

No, and come to think of it, dignity is pretty hard to find anywhere else in the joint.

::

April 28, 1959 Cover WHEN SHE arrived home after buying a few secondhand children's books at Westwood Elementary School's PTA luau, Mrs. Austin Kalish
noticed what appeared to be a bookmark in one of them. A closer look
revealed it was a piece of notebook paper on which was scrawled, "Be
sure and beat up Ronnie in the morning."

::

WARNING SIGNAL

No matter when I enter a yellow
Behind me comes some other fellow.

– KENNETH H. BONNELL

::

A MAN I KNOW
is on one of those starvation diets designed to remove excess weight in
a hurry. He took off eight pounds the first three days, 15 in two
weeks. He simply doesn't eat. Instead he takes with him wherever he
goes a thermos bottle containing a mixture of orange juice, milk, raw
eggs and salad oil, and several times a day gulps a slug.

On the
way home the other day he stopped at a friend's house and after a while
looked at his watch, waved his empty thermos and said despairingly,
"I've got to go. I'm hungry. It's time for my 3 o'clock feeding."

::

April 28, 1959, Comics QUOTE & UNQUOTE
— An expensively dressed middle-aged man leaving an Arcadia restaurant
was overheard saying to his companion, "Oh well, another day, another
23 cents after taxes!"… Lady named Hilda, turning off a rock and roll
program, commented, "If only they didn't sing them as if they were
sacred hymns."

::

OFFHAND, anyone would say that Webster's unabridged is above and beyond slang. Which makes all the more interesting Frances Hov's discovery that on Page 955 the word fishify is defined as "to change to fish; to make like a fish."

::

AT RANDOM
Oops, the student-printed program for the play "Detective Story"
presented by the L.A. City College theater arts department noted that
the cast was "directly supervised and assisted by the Faulty Staff."
The faculty is laughing … Understand a man inToluca Lake bought a Scoutarama ticket for $1 from a Boy Scout, then tried to turn it in on some mints when a Girl Scout came to the door … Photog
John Gaines saw a bunch of colleagues as he went into the Redwood House
and said, "Give all those fellows a drink and gave the religion editor
a glass of water and let him perform a miracle" … Received a
five-page press release from Philadelphia dedicated to the proposition
that diapers are more important than you think. Sometimes a person in
the business gets the feeling that it won't be long now.

About lmharnisch

I am retired from the Los Angeles Times
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