Crankcase Breather

    As you may have read, the Automobile Manufacturers Assn. a few days ago announces the development of a device which would eliminate "substantial" amounts of smog-causing auto exhaust.

    The fumes, it stated, would be fed back to the engine through a tube and re-burned.

    Furthermore, the AMA boys stated, the device would be offered on 1961 cars as an accessory or as optional equipment.  No estimate was given as to its cost but they said it would be inexpensive compared with previously announced exhaust control mechanisms, such as after-burners, still unperfected.

    Reporter Les Wagner, this paper's smog specialist, read it too and something went "ping" in his memory.  After considerable research, he turned up an interesting bit of lore- in a 1954 Sears Roebuck catalogue.

    UNDER THE heading "Oil jars and cans," which included several types of fuel containers and flexible pouring spouts, there is listing P, as follows:  "Crankcase Breathers.  Carry away oil fumes.  Shipping weight 14 ounces.  69 cents."  Another listing states, "Same as above except it transfers fumes to air cleaner, 69 cents."

    Floyd Clymer, automotive historian, recalled that returning crankcase vapors to the intake manifold, the air cleaner or the carburetor, had been done for years.

    Smith Griswold, smog director, discounted the effectiveness of such a device. 

    "We are still counting on something that will eliminate 80% of the unburned hydrocarbons and 60% of the carbon monoxide," he said, "not 2%, as this one would."

    By the way, the experts say that anyone who thinks he's going to get off with an exhaust gadget that costs less than $25 or $50, when one is perfected, is just a dreamer.

    A WOMAN in The Harem, Robertson Blvd. beauty shop, was uncertain how she wanted her hair done so hairdresser Vera Roberts suggested, "Let me do it darker — you'll look 10 years younger."

    The woman said despairingly, "Who wants to look 62?"

    LA PAYOLA, a lady named Carol whispers, doesn't flourish only in the entertainment business.

    She phoned an outfit about reconditioning her furniture. Two men showed up and went through the house making an estimate.  As one of them finished the first page he said, "That's $144 so far."

    "Don't bother turning the page," Carol said, "that's too much — I can't afford it."
  
"Wait a minute," he said, "I haven't put down everything.  We can have  a private arrangement.  That way the company makes a profit, you get a good deal, I make something and nobody gets hurt."

    Carol was suddenly positive she couldn't afford it and ushered them out.

    SINCE THE rubout of Jack Whalen, people are asking how come suddenly there is evidence of large-scale bookmaking.  Hasn't our great leader repeatedly assured us the town is clean? Oh, maybe a little fun and frivolity here and there but nothing as bad as J. Edgar hinted recently.  And never mind those snickers from horse players who never seem to have trouble getting a bet down away from the track.  

    Perhaps the grand jury will find the answer to this aggravating riddle.

     Meanwhile, it is well to keep in mind the statement once made by writer Courtney Riley Cooper.  It went something like this: Whenever you see rackets flourishing openly in your community you can be sure that someone in law enforcement responsible for their suppression is permitting them to operate.

    ONLY IN L.A. — Neatly stenciled in black letters on a rock on Beverly Glen Blvd. near Mulholland Dr. is the message, "Help Stamp Out Reality."  Joe Weston figures some UCLA philosophy student is responsible.

    MISCELLANY — The return envelopes L.V. McCardle, city treasurer, enclosed with bills reminding people their sewer assessments are due have "Thank you" printed on the flap.  The ones from H.L. Byram, county tax collector, don't . . . And a lot of people who used to do their Christmas shopping early now merely do their credit union shopping early.