This week’s “unsuitable” mystery movie was the 1934 MGM film The Gay Bride, with Carole Lombard, Chester Morris, Zasu Pitts, Leo Carrillo, Nat Pendleton, Sam Hardy and Walter Walker. And get a load of all those fonts crammed into one title.
Screenplay by Bella and Samuel Spewack.
From the story Repeal by Charles Francis Coe.
Music by Jack Virgil.
Recording by Douglas Shearer.
Art direction by Cedric Gibbons.
Art direction associates Stan Rogers and Edwin B. Willis.
Wardrobe by Dolly Tree.
Photographed by Ray June.
Edited by Frank Sullivan.
Directed by Jack Conway.
Produced by John W. Considine Jr.
Further information on The Gay Bride is available from the AFI Catalog.
The Gay Bride is available on DVD from Critics’ Choice Video.
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The Gay Bride is a “vulgar and demoralizing comedy-melodrama… unsuitable for any type of audience,” according to Harrison’s Reports, which made it perfect for a mystery movie. The Detroit Legion of Decency urged exhibitors to cancel The Gay Bride, a move that MGM refused to accept. More information is available in Harrison’s Reports, March 30, 1935. Viewed today, it’s an early screwball comedy about a showgirl who isn’t especially picky about whom she marries as long as she gets the money. Carole Lombard is perfect for the role and pulls the entire movie along. Even Chester Morris, not my favorite actor, gets into the role by playing off her. Until the plot falls apart in Act III because there are too many balls in the air, it’s hilarious.
I imagine The New York Times was horrified by the subject of a woman with grand pretensions marrying one racketeer after another as they meet their untimely ends.
Very wrong. Andre Sennwald approves of such goings-on! (December 19, 1934):
Dropping the false whiskers for the moment, this corner wishes to report its unashamed merriment in the contemplation of the low comedy endeavor called The Gay Bride. Although the Rialto’s new film is probably pretty small pertaters according to the lofty standards of the academicians, it provides some unusually loud and vigorous laughter at the expense of the professional assassins of the underworld. It appears that The Gay Bride began its uncertain career as a detonating gangster story by Charles Francis Coe. Someone at the film studio, discovering that the theme was a trifle obsolescent for the screen, decided to make it into a comedy. Thereupon Bella and Samuel Spewack were summoned into consultation. They seasoned the narrative with wisecracks, peppered it with abdominal guffaws and revised the title. The consequence is a successful minor sortie upon what the academic critics refer to as the risibles.
Presenting Monday’s “unsuitable” mystery guest in this week’s mystery movie, which is the most “unsuitable” yet, as in extremely “unsuitable.”
Update: This is Carole Lombard.
For Tuesday, we have a mysterious guest in this most “unsuitable” mystery movie.
Update: This is Walter Walker.
Brain Trust roll call: Stacia (“unsuitable” mystery movie and Monday’s mysterious woman) and Megan and Thom (Monday’s mystery woman).
Note to Sylvia: You’ve got the right era!
For “Hm Wednesday,” we have three entirely “unsuitable” mystery gents.
Update: This is, from left, Leo Carrillo, Nat Pendleton and Sam Hardy.
Brain Trust roll call: Bob Hansen (Monday’s mystery woman) and Mike Hawks (Tuesday’s “unsuitable” attorney). Note to Megan and Thom: A good guess: Right era, but it’s a different movie.
For “Aha Thursday,” we have an “unsuitable” woman in a vintage kitchen.
Update: This is (oh dear) Zasu Pitts.
Brain Trust roll call: Megan and Thom (“unsuitable” mystery movie and Wednesday’s mysterious man No. 1), Mary Mallory (“unsuitable” mystery movie and all “unsuitable” mystery guests”), B.J. Merholz (Wednesday’s “unsuitable” mystery guests Nos. 1 and 2), Mike Hawks (“unsuitable” mystery movie, Monday’s and Wednesday’s “unsuitable” mystery guests), Sheila (“unsuitable” mystery movie and Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s “unsuitable” mystery guests) and Anne Papineau (“unsuitable” mystery movie and all “unsuitable” mystery guests).
For Friday, we have our “unsuitable” mystery leading lady and leading man.
Update: This is Carole Lombard and Chester Morris.
Brain Trust roll call: L.C. (“unsuitable” mystery movie and “unsuitable” cast), Mary Mallory (Thursday’s mystery woman), Sylvia (“unsuitable” mystery movie and all “unsuitable” mystery guests), Greg (“unsuitable” mystery movie and all “unsuitable” mystery guests), Diane Ely (Thursday’s mystery woman), Charles Kjelland (Thursday’s mystery woman), B.J. Merholz (“unsuitable” mystery movie and Thursday’s mystery woman), Mike Hawks (Thursday’s mystery woman) and Anne Papineau (Thursday’s mystery woman).
ladailymirror.com 
This is Carole Lombard in The Gay Bride! According to Vince at Carole & Co. (which hasn’t been updated in years, I have to see if I can find him somewhere online) Carole said this was her worst film. It’s… fine? Her idiot boyfriend named Shoots is hilarious, but this is the movie that kind of soured me on Chester Morris because he’s clearly mad that he’s contractually obligated to show up.
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Miriam HOpkins and THE STORY OF TEMPLE DRAKE
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An excellent guess, but alas, I’m afraid not.
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Merle Oberon
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An excellent guess, but alas, I’m afraid not.
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I think our guest is Carole Lombard.
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The Golddiggers of 1933 seems too well known a movie for the mystery film, though it’s racy enough. This week’s movie seems of the same era.
I’ll guess Joan Blondell only for grins as I found a similar style hat in a dance number from Golddiggers.
Awaiting tomorrow’s image.
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The most unsuitable movie I can think of from this era is the Czech “Ecstasy”, starring Hedy Kiesler, soon to be Hedy Lamarr. Don’t know who’s pictured though.
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An excellent guess, but this is an American film! And very “unsuitable!”
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Thanks, Larry. I’ve never gotten one of these “early” anyway. — Bruce
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All will become clear soon enough. Thanks for playing!!!
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Is our mystery movie Bolero?
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I believe Monday’s woman is Carole Lombard
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Walter Walker.
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Our movie is The Gay Bride with Leo Carrillo for Wednesday.
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THE GAY BRIDE. Carole Lombard Monday, Walter Walker Tuesday, Leo Carrillo, Natalie Pendleton, and Sam Hardy today. No Max Davidson? Oh vey!
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Is that Jerome Cowan on the left Wednesday?
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An excellent guess, but alas I’m afraid not….
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Leo Carillo and Nat Pendleton in Deception
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Carole Lombard, Leo Carillo, Nat Pendleton and Sam hardy in THE GAY BRIDE.
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Walter Walker, Sam Hardy, Leo Carrillo and Nat Pendleton in ‘The Gay Bride’
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It’s (I hope) “The Gay Bride.” Our pictured cast in order: Carole Lombard, Walter Walker, Leo Carrillo, Nat Pendleton and Sam Hardy.
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The Gay Bride (1934) w/Carole Lombard, Chester Morris, Nat Pendleton, Leo Carillo, Zasu Pitts, Walter Walker, Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, Sam Hardy…
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Zasu Pitts today.
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ZaSu was very helpful and found a clip with Monday’s hat.
The Gay Bride 1934
Mon – Carole Lombard (her only MGM film)
Tues – Walter Walker
Wed – Ms Lombard’s future targets: Leo Carrillo, Nat Pendleton and Sam Hardy
Thur – ZaSu Pitts
Friday should bring Chester Morris and the full reveal of Ms Lombard.
Per a great blog about the film, one paper said of Ms Lombard’s character, “Mary, Mary… mercenary! Her coat of arms was a chisel and a wedding ring.” Per the same blog, a theater in New Orleans handed out ‘Chiseler’s Club Cards’ to patrons in honor of Lombard’s gold-digging character.
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Nat Pendleton and Zasu Pitts are sure things in the mystery movie with Carole Lombard, Walter Walker and Leo Carrillo as long shots. If I’m correct the movie should be The Gay Bride from 1934.
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Zasu Pitts on Thursday?
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Zazu Pitts today
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Zazu Piits would make a Grayt Bride.
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Zasu Pitts.
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On Thursday, Santa Cruz, CA native Zasu Pitts.
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Carole and Chester.
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Carole Lombard and Chester Morris.
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