Photo: Rolls-Royce hearse at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Credit: Larry Harnisch/LADailyMirror.com

Queen of the Dead—dateline October 10, 2011 

•  Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans were saddened to learn this week of the death on May 25 of musical-comedy starlet Betty Luster, 89, better known as the perky elf Mr. B Natural in the 1956 short subject of that title. Luster also appeared on Broadway (Louisiana Purchase, The Wayward Saint) and TV (Songs for Sale, Seven at Eleven), but real cult fame came in 1993, when MST3K hilariously skewered Mr. B Natural, which featured Luster as a Peter Pan-like sprite who terrifyingly haunts a nerdy high-school kid into joining the school band. The real Betty Luster had long since retired happily to Florida with her husband, where she was recalled as a “world class croquet player.”

•  Another mentor gone: Julian Bach, of the eponymous Literary Agency, died on Sept. 30, at 97. Julian wrote and edited for Life, The New Republic, True, and other publications, and was in the infantry during the Battle of the Bulge. He became one of New York’s premier literary agents, and signed me when I was an unpublished unknown back in 1990; I am now, well . . . still unknown, but with seven books published (oh, crap, that sounds even worse, doesn’t it?). Julian was a wonderful old-world gentleman; kind of a less-scary John Houseman.

 •  Not obits, yet, but heads-up: ice-cream-centric restaurant chain Friendly’s filed for bankruptcy on Oct. 3. The 76-year-old company has already closed 63 locations, and let us hope that its remaining 424 remain open. Not only for its employees’ sake, but because the hot-fudge sundae is The Perfect Food. [Note: A previous version of this post referred to the Simpsons. The reference has been deleted because it has been superseded by more recent events–lrh]

 •  I only own one Apple product, but I would like to thank Steve Jobs (who died on Oct. 5 at 56) for keeping me from committing ’orrible murder. Whenever some muttonhead screams into a cellphone on the commuter train, or a coworker yammers on in a voice like a strangled baby duck, I put on my headphones and crank my iPod up to ear-bleeding levels (I find Ethel Merman and Spike Jones are best for really drowning out voices).

–Eve Golden