Uh-oh.

Mash Notes and Comments

    "Dear Paul,

    "Ever ask yourself WHY so many women look worse after they return from the powder room than they did before they entered?

    "Ask Ed Cabrera, the lighting specialist whom architects and decorators call 'Mr. Lighting,' and he'll tell you straight out that it's the fault of — you guessed it — the lighting.

    "F'rinstance, overhead lighting casts shadows which make it tough to neatly apply lipstick or eye shadow and the next most common fault rests with the application of too much or too little rouge or powder because of hot spots from unbalanced lighting.

    "So what, you ask?
   
    "So this, wise guy:

    "It's bad for business because the gals are sensitive to this sort of thing and are ready to leave shortly after such mishaps.  And it's a black mark against the name of hospitality when the occasions are social.

    -For me, the spell was broken anyway when she leaned close and whispered in my ear, "Leave me have a quarter to tip the lady in the ladies' room."

    "This is your entry blank to participate in the Desert Circus Parade, Palm Springs, Saturday morning, April 23, 1960, starting promptly at 9:30 a.m.

    "Formation area is in the area near El Mirador Hotel in the north section of Palm Springs.

    "Box stalls at the Polo Grounds will be available, and hay will be furnished for those staying overnight . . . " (signed) Clare Ballagh, chairman, 1960 Desert Parade.  Palm Springs.

    –I don't want to be difficult but could you just give me a few carrots instead?  Hay repeats on me.

    (Press Release)  "Regular movie-goers in the U.S. will soon see the greatest film epic ever produced in Russia, according to announcement made by Sig Shore, president of Vitalite Film Corp., who have contracted to release the picture in this country.

    "Titled 'The Sword and the Dragon,' the picture was completed two years ago by Russia's foremost film producing company, and is the biggest motion picture ever attempted in that country from the standpoint of cast — which is in excess of 100,000 — and budget- which is the equivalent of $10 million.

    " 'The Sword and the Dragon' is spoken entirely in English and is produced in extreme wide-screen, color and stereophonic sound.

    "It is truly entertainment on the grand scale for the whole family.

    "It tells the story of Ilya Muromets, foremost hero of Russian folklore.

    "The picture abounds with eye-filling spectacle and action.  It crowds into its hour and a half running time memorable fantasy, swaggering heroics, broad and subtle humor and filial love and devotion — all shot against superb natural backgrounds by some of the most foremost artists of the color camera.

    "Three years went into the research, costumes and sets for the picture, which is truly heroic in concept.  There are scenes in which more than 50,000 actors and 11,000 horses traverse the entire width of the mighty screen.

    "Part of the plot revolves around a 'Wind Demon' who can and does blow down entire forests and villages: a grotesque giant, and a fierce, flying, three-headed, fire-breathing dragon.  All are so realistic as to stagger the imagination.

    "New and startling techniques were developed in the creation of these monsters, all of whom are eventually destroyed by the hero, Ilya Muroments."  (signed) Vitalite Film Corp., New York City.

    –I like it.  It's got a real O. Henry finish.