Board Meeting

    The hostess at a house party in Santa Monica happened to mention that she had a late model Ouija board,  and several surprised guests, who thought the boards had gone out with mah-jongg, insisted that it be produced and be put to work.  They said some vital questions needed answering.

    A table was cleared, two ardent disciples of the occult placed their hands on the frail board, asked questions, and let it run amok.

    Ouija gave the following answers:

    1- Nixon will be the next President.
    2- Kennedy will be the Democratic nominee.
    3- Chessman will not be executed.
    4- Gov. Brown will not be re-elected.
    5- The Dodgers will not win the National League pennant.
    6- Kansas City will win the American League pennant with the White Sox second.

    At this point, F.C. Neumuth, one of the guests, reports, Ouija became tired and uncooperative and made no sense whatever.

    A CERTAIN Hollywood performer is delighted at the return of a late evening TV master of ceremonies after a tempestuous quibble with his bosses and he has resumed a nightly ritual.

    He has four TV sets in his home turned to the same channel and the moment this suave, temperamental star makes his appearance he goes around and snaps off all four.  Says it gives him an inner satisfaction and helps him get to sleep.

    GOING NATIVE
Khrushchev, very gay
    and jolly,
Strolls around the isle
    of Bali,
In his blouse and bloom,
    I guess
Bali maidens don't
    wear less.
        RICHARD ARMOUR

    A WHIMSICAL fellow recently attended a pop concert.  His mind obviously was not entirely on the music, for the other day he remarked, as if the matter had been bothering him for  along time, "I wonder if there are any left-handed violinists?  Man, what a southpaw could do to a violin section!  Maybe even put out the eyes of the nearest right-handers!"

    This corner's musical consultant, J. Orlando Northcutt, of the Philharmonic, was hastily summoned in this crisis and after research he reports that a left-handed violinist named Rudolph Kolisch once played here with his string quartet.  It is assumed the cellist kept his distance.

    You want culture?  This is the place.

    THE MAN averages 500 miles a week with his delivery truck and personal car.  In five years of driving he has received two citations.  in 1958 he received one for failure to yield the right of way.  Last year he got one for passing over the double line on a detour.  He felt both were questionable but paid the fines rather than sacrifice the time going to court.  When he went for his driver's license renewal recently he passed the test 100%.  But he has received a license good only for two years.

    He isn't arguing with the MVD but he knows a woman who has never learned to back into a parking space and will go into a lot rather than try.  Furthermore she constantly dents her fenders, and her husband has finally told her he won't pay for further repairs.  Finally, she had to take the test three times before passing.  But she received a four-year license.

    AT RANDOM — Lee Goodman reports that a new apartment building in Redwood City is named Venus de Milo Arms . . . A Spanish-speaking Frankenstein monster is appearing at the Million Dollar Theater, or as the marquee has it, "El Monstruo Frankenstein en Persona."  Fellow named Fernando Fernandez . . . Remember the item here about birds drinking milk out of a cat's pan?  A lady in Palms was gardening and having a Martini when the doorbell rang.  When she returned to the yard a bird was perched on the edge of the glass, sipping, but flew away as she appeared.  Probably not enough vermouth.