Matt Weinstock, June 27, 1959

Re: Sharks

Matt Weinstock There's so much activity in Sharksville
these days, first thing anyone knows the papers will appoint shark
editors. Meanwhile, a man who used to be a commercial shark fisherman
says it's a waste of time to try to kill them from a distance with
rifle fire.

When he went after the big blues and whites off Baja
California the procedure was to slip up behind them — they swim just
below the surface — and harpoon them with a 12-ft. pole with a
detachable 3-ft. steel spear on the end. Attached to the spear was a
dynamite charge with a one-minute fuse. The harpooned shark always
dove, thenblooie!

During a shark-scare discussion at a party in Canoga
Park, Harry Gibson reports, a girl remarked, "And I always thought a
basking shark was a con man lolling in the sun at Palm Springs."

On the wrist watch found in a 750-lb. shark killed off Catalina, Jack L. Peterson and Elliott Earll chorused: "I knew that some day John Cameron Swayze would go too far with those Timex commercials."

And
some brash young men, who had painted the fins of their surfboards
black, came rushing at a cluster of girls at Hermosa Beach with the
boards upside down, yelling, "Shark!" Broke the ice very nicely.

::

AWHILE BACK,
a lady in Eagle Rock reported six quarter-pounds of margarine had
splashed on her roof and driveway as if dropped from a great height.
The assumption was that they had fallen or been thrown from a plane.

Bob Presnell, the movie writer, who lives on Magnolia Blvd. in Sherman Oaks, offers another mystery. He found a recently deceased fish –a tomcod, he thinks –in his back yard. Only explanation –a nervous seagull dropped it.

Step right up folks, and report your phenomena.

::

REMINDER
Variety is the spice of life —
But don't forget you have a wife
    –J.S. McHOSE

::

LIFE BECAME a little confusing a few days ago aboard an El Paso-to-L.A.
plane. En route the pilot announced that arrival time would be 5:30,
then said, "Oh, I'm sorry, that's eastern time, I'll have to figure it
out and let you know." As the plane was about to get down at
International Airport the stewardess gave the weather reading, then
said it was 7:30 in Los Angeles. A passenger told her it was really
8:30 and when the ship came to a stop the confused girl asked the
attendant who opened the door, "What time is it, please?"

::

THREE broken-down politicians stood on a Spring St. corner chatting the other day and one said, "We are victims of McGloober's disease."

"What's that?" he was asked.

"McGloober's disease," was the reply, "is the inexorable law of politics — the bad politicians drive out the good."

"You are paraphrasing Gresham's law of money," his questioner said.

The
third, hitherto silent, said sadly, "I'm glad to know that we are
associated, however remotely, with money. I haven't seen any lately."

::

THAT THUD you just heard was a fellow named Al falling out of his chair at hearing for the 64th
time a marshal or a mayor in a western drama say, "This is going to be
a big country some day, son, the frontier is growing up, and you better
realize guns never settled anything."

::

VACATION NOTE — Ernie Maxwell reports that a young man leaned back comfortably against a tall pine in Idyllwild
and mused, "For thousands of years man has been fighting his way out of
the woods — now he's working like crazy to get back into them."

::

FOOTNOTES — Last Monday a man leading a lame horse north on Sepulveda from Imperial Blvd. had reached the tunnel under the airstrip as Harold Mallon drove by. Maybe someone can tell him, did they make it through the blinding, poor-lighted bore? … Jay Gurey doesn't need to listen to the radio for weather reports. "When I can see the Tishman Building from 3rd and Western," he says, "I know there's no smog alert."

About lmharnisch

I am retired from the Los Angeles Times
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