TV Stool Pigeons

The upsurge
of the private eye on TV has brought into focus a rather nasty bit of
behaviorism which, let us hope, is not quite as true as it is made to
appear. This is the sequence in these tough guy dramas in which the
resourceful hero is fresh out of clues as to whodunit. People are
scared, see, so they clam up.

Eventually he comes to this hotel
clerk (or bartender or ex-con who is going straight) and asks where he
can find George, the wicked villain. The hotel clerk, a man with shifty
eyes, says he doesn't know.

IT IS obvious he does but he wants no part of other people's trouble.

So
the private eye flashes a bill under his nose, which twitches. The
hotel clerk grabs it and says maybe he can furnish a hint. But he can't
seem to remember the wicked villain's address until the eye produces
another bill. Then he becomes the most loquacious stool pigeon you ever
heard.

The watcher is left with the disquieting feeling that a
normally discreet person can be bought cheaply. Bribery thus becomes an
accepted procedure, condoned and tossed off with a wisecrack.

::

AS YOU MAY have read, an organized rattlesnake hunt is in progress in the Palos Verdes area.

The
other day a woman in Rolling Hills stopped the Helms bakery man and
said she wanted a loaf of bread. She was walking toward his truck to
get it when she stopped in terror. A rattler was between them, Frontier
life being what it is, the bakery man killed the snake so he could
consummate the sale.

::

OWED TO A HUNGRY PIG

Dear china pig upon the shelf,
You gave so freely of yourself.
You are my friend; I think you're swell,
Payday I shall feed you well.

-GUY MULLEN

::

TODAY'S LESSON in resourcefulness, with a tinge of sneakery,
involves two 15-year-old Long Beach boys who pooled their savings, $10,
and bought an old car at an auto wreckers, then discovered it had no
battery. The problem was now to get it home so they could fool around
with it.

Suddenly inspired, one boy borrowed his mother's auto
club card, phoned, and reported his car wouldn't start. And while both
barely breathed, the unsuspecting truckers hoisted and towed the car
home.

::

A RECENTLY opened section of the San Diego Freeway adjacent to Sepulveda
Blvd. in West L.A. has a new concept in center dividers. Instead of a
guardrail or a curb or a wide, planted area, it has a row of large
concrete posts similar to bowling pins. Well, this is to report that
someone has scored a strike knocking down a flock of them. If it keeps
up the highway people may have to install automatic pin-setters.

::

EAVESDROPPING ––
One man to another about a third, at a party in Beverly Hills: "He has
been saving the world for so long it's too bad he can't get any
cooperation from the U.N. and the Russians" … A man with a briefcase
to a companion in Civic Center restaurant: "At first, I thought he was
a congenital idiot but then realized he was really a do-it yourself
idiot."

::

MISCELLANY — Hollywoodians are talking about writer Hal Kanter's
wonderfully ribald ribbing of Jack Hellman in observance of his 25
years with Variety, at a Brown Derby lunch … People keep asking about
the cryptic markings on personalized Bank of America checks. They have
something to do with a new cancellation processing system soon to be
started … Jim Cagney had to learn to smoke so it looked natural for
his portrayal of Adm. Halsey in "The Gallant Hours." He doesn't. Halsey
is rarely without a cigarette … AlbertoDiaz, unofficial alcalde of Belvedere, is plumping, and boy, is he overweight, for a National Tortilla Week.