Matt Weinstock — February 26, 1959

‘Criminal’ Confesses

The lady admits her crime. The engine in her 1947 Mercury station wagon is inefficient. And when the APCD
man stopped her a block from her home in Whittier and told her it was
emitting 70% white smoke, she didn’t fight it. Especially when he told
her, "Don’t worry, the first offense is usually a suspended fine."

What made her angry was groping her way through the black smoke of two
tanker diesels ahead of her on Painter Ave. on the way to the
courthouse and hearing the judge’s edict — $25 or five days. And
remembering that a nearby chemical plant whose fumes disabled three
employees received several warnings before being cited.

Anyway, the lady, mother of six children, who drives only 100 miles a
month to school, church and stores, wants everyone to know she is
slowly saving the money to get an engine overhaul so she will no longer
be a smog menace.

Below, these pages show the incredible tear-ups newspapers routinely used to make between editions. All in hot type, too. No wonder the third floor of The Times was mostly Linotype machines. This is unthinkable today. 


Feb. 26, 1959, Late News Edition.


The early runover.


Feb. 26, 1959, Red Streak.


And in the later edition.

* *

knows, McCall’s is the magazine of Togetherness — capital T. It so states on the cover.

And what does it state inside, Mr. Anthony? (John J. Anthony, Channel 9, 5 p.m.)

Well, on Page 24 there’s an article titled "The First Year," dealing with the problems of newlyweds.

On Page 48 there’s Debbie Reynolds’ "story."

On Page 50 titled "The Disgrace of Hollywood," Leonard Slater has
compiled a divorce chart of the movies’ marriages which have gone kaput
in the last 25 years (from 1934 through 1958). Grand total: 230. Of
course, some like RitaHayworth, Mickey Rooney and Artie Shaw are multiple losers.

However, there’s a saver — Agnes Sligh Turnbull’s fiction story "And They Lived Happily Ever After."

You can’t help wondering if the McCall’s people are kidding about Togetherness. Everyone else is.

* *

Too young to retire
And too old to hire,
Cut clean out of life
By society’s knife.

* *

STOP the presses — A group of incorrigible reporters were
debating the question "Which hurts worse — getting shot in the fracas
or getting shot in the melee?" . . . A reminiscing editorialist recalled
the time during Prohibition that he got a "two-pint raise" . . . A
newsman found this note from a judge on his car parked in the Hall of
Justice lot: "In trying to start your car, which was parked behind
mine, I snapped off your turn indicator handle. Please get it fixed and
send me the bill. I am sorry to cause you this trouble. This note is
written because of my innate honesty and the old legal maxim of
jurisprudence: Always be friendly with the press."

THE WAY it’s
being told, a ticket seller at Santa Anita sat down with his colleagues
in the shade of an old greenback tree, reached into his paper bag,
unwrapped a sandwich and took a bite.

He couldn’t bite through, tried again, but still couldn’t. He looked and found he’d been chewing on a thickness of valueless mutuel
tickets. Farther down in the bag he found a note from his wife stating,
"When you bring home money instead of these you’ll get meat in your

It’s a variation of an old one, but I suppose these things could really happen twice.

* *

LOOSE ENDS — Jim Zaillian of KNX reports spotting the auto license plate MUY 502, which in Espanol
and LAPD parlance means very drunk driver . . . And two cars alongside
at Sunset and Vine waiting for the signal change had the letters MYE and PYE
. . . The youngster generation has a new way of telling time. Allan
Williams, 16, went to a neighbor’s house to watch TV last Saturday.
Next morning, asked what time he got to bed, he replied, "Two shows
after ‘Gunsmoke.’ "


About lmharnisch

I am retired from the Los Angeles Times
This entry was posted in Columnists, Environment, Matt Weinstock. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Matt Weinstock — February 26, 1959

  1. zabadu says:

    The “boy becomes machine” story looks really interesting – seems he was schizophrenic, but then it jumps. Any further info?


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