March 11, 1968

Dear Stuck With Mother, boy do I hear you…. At 55, your mother is exactly the age that the Eskimos put their "ancient ones" on an ice floe and push them out to sea–just to solve problems like yours … Let’s do a little math, girlfriend. Your mom is 55 and has been married 35 years. That means your folks got together when she was 20 and she started right in raising you with the diapers and baby bottles–and arguing with your dad. Cut her some slack and enjoy her company while you can! You’re lucky to have her. At least she’s not nagging you about when are you going to make her a grandmother!! …  Dear E.C., it’s 1968, man. Who are you to put your head trip on this young woman? Does she make fun of your love beads and your sandals? Just groove on the open communication. And if you think this is bad, wait till she stops shaving her legs!  … Dear Father, exiling the young children from the dinner table is one solution. Then again, why don’t you get with it and start eating frozen dinners around the TV set like the rest of America? … Note to W.H. These still sound like secret messages to enemy agents.