March 4, 1968

Let’s get this straight: You have two kids, you’re pregnant, and you "can’t imagine how this happened." All right, I won’t make fun of your predicament. This guy is a heel and you sure don’t want to be married to any man who would take advantage of a woman in your circumstances. He is not primo husband bait. He is loser-rama (why do you think he’s single in the first place, eh?) As for the child, I will pray that he or she found a loving home whether it was with you or someone else … Dear Perplexed, sit the 5-year-old "holy terror" in front of the TV set for a day of cartoons (Bugs Bunny! Speedy Gonzales! The Roadrunner!) and he’ll be your friend forever. Problem solved! … Dear Long Beach, I would imagine your married friends are worried about having a single woman around their husbands. I could introduce you to a man named Percy who loves to dance! And the Confidential to Chris … Sounds more to me like some secret message to Soviet agents.