Jan. 16, 1958

Fellow beer drinkers, we’ve got a crisis bubbling over right in front of us.

Before we call in the United Nations, let’s give it a brief rundown.

Plans have been going ahead, more or less quietly, for the California
Brewers Festival, April 7-12. Nothing fancy. That is, no dancing in the
streets. Maybe proclamations by the governor and mayor. And some
editorials and store displays pointing out that California breweries
have an annual payroll of $44,000,000, that 70,000 persons depend on
the industry for their livelihood, that the per capita annual
consumption is 14.1 gallons. Stuff like that.

And then the agonizing word filtered through a few days ago that a
temperance outfit was more or less quietly planning to call attention
to the virtues of abstinence that same week, April 7-12.

Oh, I tell you, the brewery people are agulp.

But there need be no alarm. After all, it’s the era of compromise. Why
not combine the two, with the beer people reminding the temperance
people that eerbay is the beverage of moderation.


BETWEEN EDITIONS the
boys on the copy desk came up with a provocative thought. What is Sir
Winston himself took a plane and appeared at Malibu Justice Court at 2
p.m. today to defend his daughter Sarah on a charge of intoxication.

After all, Winnie has not only been known to sip a little brandy but
also has uttered that imperishable line, "There’ll always be an
England," so eloquently declaimed by Sarah when she got jammed up.

Furthermore, Winnie speaks real good as (like) a former prime minister should.

ONLY IN L.A.–Someone
broke the streetlight in front of artist Julie Byrne’s home and she
reported it to someone at City Hall. That afternoon a truck with two
men appeared and installed a new globe. But when darkness came, no
light.

Around 10 p.m., however, another city truck stopped, two more men got
out, hoisted a ladder and screwed in a bulb. Julie asked how come.

Maybe he was joking but the bulb screwer inner said, "Oh, the fellows
who put in the globes aren’t supposed to put in the bulbs."

THE PARENTS
of David John Irwin, 2, have been trying to teach him the importance of
keeping his word. The other day his mother, Peggy, sharply called his
attention to a promise he’d broken. He remained thoughtfully silent so
she repeated, "Did you understand me? — I said you broke your promise."

"Okay," he shrugged, "fix it, mommy."

THE GARDENA Valley
News, in an editorial on the election in April which will decide
whether the card clubs will be outlawed, had this enchanting line, "We
appeal to both sides in the controversy to keep the fight honest and
fair, not confuse the voters any more than possible…."

AROUND TOWN — As
a woman driver in front of him put out her hand, the driver of an
Olympic Boulevard bus said to a passenger, "The only thing I’m sure of
when a woman makes a hand signal is that the window is open"… In
discussing newly married friends, William Miranda was overheard
malapropping that they were so happy they were in a "transom" … The
fear that has haunted Marjean Haven as she drives over desolate Chevy
Chase Drive after dark was realized the other night at 11:30 p.m.–a
flat tire. Panicky, she started climbing the grade in her high heels
when a motorist stopped and offered help. This sweet guy drove her back
to her car, put on the spare, then, in answer to her inquiry, gave his
name –Sour. Or more likely, Sauer.