Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 19, 1959

 Dec. 19, 1959, Mirror Cover

Mash Notes and Comment

Paul Coates    (Form letter)  "Kind Friends —

    "A joyous year of rich fulfillment to you all!

    "A severely bitten hand (received when a frightened little dog at our shelter misunderstood my attempts to feed it) has put my typing hand out of commission for  a while.

    "This had made impossible the preparation of our usual Christmas Bulletin.  We are therefore using this means to wish you the joys of the Holiday Season, and to express our loving gratitude for the help you have rendered our little orphan animals in the past.

    "P.S. I have discovered that the operation of an IBM Electric Typewriter (Executive model) places less strain on my injured hand and would enable me to carry on this important phase of our work with far less effort.

    "May I express the wistful hope that Santa might deliver such a machine to us as a Christmas gift, so that I can serve the creatures more effectively?"  (signed)  Rosalie Gordon, president.  Good Shepherd Foundation, Inc., 133 Van Norman Rd.,Montebello.

    –If Santa's got any sense, he won't come near your place while that nasty little dog's running loose.

::

Dec. 19, 1959, Beating     (Press Release)  "Television advertisers are reportedly flirting with subliminal messages again — this time aimed at dogs, states Product Engineering,McGraw-Hill publication.
 
   "The trick would be to transmit supersonic barking, which a dog can hear but a man can't, along with a  picture of a dog-food can.

    "The viewer's dog would bark in answer, and the viewer, presumably, would rush out to the market and buy the food."  (signed) Publicity Dept.,McGraw-Hill Publications, New York City.

    –While you're there, better pick up a bottle of iodine and a box of Band-Aids.

::

    (Press Release)  "Campaign strategists for Sen. John Kennedy have convinced the presidential candidate to make a 'Go for Broke' battle against favorite sons in a number of states.
   
"With Kennedy's popularity slipping, he will need convincing victories against Gov. Di Salle of Ohio, Sen. Morse of Oregon, Gov. Tawes of Maryland and Sen. Humphrey of Wisconsin."  (signed) Publicity Dept., Confidential Magazine, New York City.

    –That Edmund G. (Pat) Brown of Idaho won't be any pushover either.

::

    MIDNIGHT MEMOS:  That ornate Zeppelin hangar, the Moulin Rouge, has long been the last stronghold of lavish show business in Hollywood.  Frank Sennes has never been chintzy about loading the place with beautiful girls, and he's outdone himself with his new Oriental revue.  He seems to have more girls in the chorus than there are customers in the house.

    The show's only flaw is that it is a bit overlong, and a few of the acts would be  helped some by taking one or two less encores.  Not to be included in that category, however, are the Kim sisters — one of the most talented song, dance and just-about-everything-else acts I've seen in quite  a while.

::

    A HOLIDAY NOTE:  For the price of a new toy, kids and adults can catch a special program at Embassy Auditorium, 847 S Grand, tomorrow at 7:30 p.m. There'll be music, entertainment and ice cream and cake for the kids.  Among personalities scheduled to make an appearance are Shelley Winters, David (Mr. District Attorney) Bryan, Nancy Valentine and Bozo the Clown.  Contributed toys will be distributed by churches of all denominations to kids in our town who otherwise might have been forgotten at Christmas this year.

Dec. 19, 1959, Abby 
  

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A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 19, 1956, Hedda Hopper 

Dec. 19, 1956: Burl Ives, who played Big Daddy on stage in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" will repeat his characterization on screen. Burl has also been chosen by Don Hartman to play the father in Eugene O'Neill's "Desire Under the Elms" with Sophia Loren and Tony Perkins."

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Writer Blacklisted by Mistake Clears His Name

Dec. 19, 1959, Blacklist 

Dec. 19, 1959, Blacklist

Dec. 19, 1959, Movies 

“Super-Sonic Hell Creatures No Weapons Can Destroy!”


“The Killer Shrews” [What? Only 3 stars on imdb?]  and “The Giant Gila Monster” [2.8 stars on imdb?] now playing at the Avenue Drive-In in Downey!  And of course that Mr. Magoo opus “1001 Arabian Nights,” gets 5.8 stars on imdb. Mr. Magoo = 5.8 stars? 
Dec. 19, 1959: Screenwriter Louis Pollock discovers that he has been blacklisted after being confused with another Louis Pollock. “My wife never lost faith in me," he said. "But I know the boys got to wondering what was the matter with the old man. Beating that mill all day and just barely enough money coming in to keep us together.”

Posted in Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

Deceived Woman Kills Herself

Dec. 19, 1919, Pots and Pans

Beauty and everyday usefulness of aluminum utensils are bound to be appreciated.

Dec. 19, 1919, Suicide

Dec. 19, 1919, Suicide

Dec. 19, 1919: Muriel McMunn kills herself after discovering that she was deceived into marrying a streetcar conductor who claimed to be an Army investigator and vanished shortly after the wedding.

Posted in Food and Drink, Suicide | 1 Comment

On the Frontiers of Medicine

Dec. 19, 1909, Hospital Cot

The Receiving Hospital cot where more than 600 died.

Dec. 19, 1909, Hospital Cot
Dec. 19. 1909, Hospital Cot

Dec. 19, 1909: “Within a few days the old rubber-covered cot at the Receiving Hospital in the Central Police Station will be removed, and a new and more sanitary operating stand will take its place. The successor of the old piece of furniture, on which thousands of human beings have been stretched, is nearly completed.”

Here’s an explanation of all the old references to police surgeons. A century ago, trauma patients were taken to the Receiving Hospital at the Central Police Station, 318 W. 1st St.

Posted in Architecture, Downtown, health, LAPD | Comments Off on On the Frontiers of Medicine

Matt Weinstock, Dec. 18, 1959

Code 3

Matt Weinstock     Late one afternoon about two weeks ago, as Jack Fuller was driving past Pico Blvd. and Roxbury Dr., en route home from his job at the Hollywood office of civil defense, he saw a commotion inside the door of the market there.  As he watched, two young men ran out, pursued by a third, apparently the owner or a clerk.

    Fuller instinctively braked to a stop.  To his trained eye it looked like trouble, possibly a robbery.  He was a policeman for 10 years, minus three days, during part of which time he was bodyguard and driver for the mayor.  He quit the force in September, 1957, over a sharp difference of opinion with the LAPD high command.  He was denied a work permit for a off-duty TV job.

    FULLER RUSHED OVER
and grabbed one culprit, a large fellow.  He wrestled him to the pavement and with some difficulty pinned his arms behind him so others could hold him.

    Then he got in his car, made a fast U-turn and caught up with the second suspect half a block away.  He shook him down and held him against his car with his left hand, kept a foot in position to trip him if he made a wrong move, and with his right hand reached for his microphone.  Civil defense cars have the same radio equipment as police cars.  He gave his old code number, Zebra 7, the address, and said, "Officer needs help.  Code 3."

Dec. 18, 1959, Robber     All this time he was wondering subconsciously what he should have been doing with his right hand.  Suddenly it hit him.  He should have had a gun in it.  Then he remembered he was no longer a policeman, he was a civilian.

     In minutes the area was swarming with boys in blue.  An "officer needs help" call is always a prime emergency.  Five cars and four motorcycles came from West L.A. division, three from Beverly Hills.  They quickly took over the two suspects.  A third, it turned out, got away.

    When the situation was under control a policeman came over to Fuller and asked, "Where's the officer who put in the call?"  Fuller couldn't imagine and silently slipped away.  After all. he didn't want to get taken in for impersonating an officer.

    Recalling the incident yesterday Fuller mused, "I guess I acted instinctively because of my police training.  I sure wish people would learn about civil defense so they could react the same way in case of trouble."

::


    IT HAPPENS
every year.  Tina Powell, 4, of North Hollywood, confided her wishes several days ago to a department store Santa Claus.  Yesterday when her mother took her grocery shopping, there was another Santa.

   Dec. 18, 1959, LAAC He said, "Hello, little girl, what's your name?"

    When she told him he said, "What would you like me to bring you?"

    "I already told your brother at the May Company," she said.

    Smothering a snort, Santa said, "I'm sorry, I guess my brother forgot to give me the message."

::


    CABBIES ARE
talking about the thing that befell a driver last Monday, the day of the big wind, as he responded to a call at a modern apartment with the pool in the center of the patio.  Cap down over his eyes, leaning into the gale, he walked, plop, right into it, clothes and all.  And although soaked, he got his passengers to their destination in time.
  

::


    THE WAY
Don Dwiggins heard it, and it's a little shaggy, Tom Edison was working feverishly in his workshop in Menlo Park when his wife called to him that his dinner was getting cold.  "Not now!" he shouted.  "I think I've got it!  This could revolutionize the world!"  He'd melted some glass, blown it into a bulb, inserted a filament and closed the bulb.  With a deep sigh of expectation he went into the next room and put the ends of the two wires together.  He ran to the door, looked and saw with delight that the light was on.  He rushed over to it and shouted, "Hello! Hello! Hello!"

::

    MISCELLANY — Gangster rubout of Roger Touhy in Chicago recalled the old underworld paraphrase, "He who lives by the Smith & Wesson shall die by the Colt" . . . Overheard by actor Frank Allocca in a Hollywood restaurant, one gal to another, "I don't mind his whims — it's his whams that get me" . . . Another eavesdropping, at the Press Club:  "He's the kind of guy who uses words like 'minimal.' "

 
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Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 18, 1959

 
Dec. 18, 1959, Mirror

Captain Is Dedicated to Prisoners' Return

Paul Coates    Capt. Eugene R. Guild, U.S. Army (ret.), has a few close friends in his home town of Glenwood Springs, Colo.

    Townfolk shy away from him.  He's a distinguished looking man, clean in habits and speech, but his neighbors would feel a little more at ease if he'd pack up and settle somewhere else.

    The conservative element is afraid that the 82-year-old retired Army combat officer is going to give their town a bad name.  That he enjoys an occasional day running river rapids in a tiny rubber life craft doesn't particularly offend them.  That's a harmless little idiosyncrasy.

    But they are bothered by his "rabble-rousing," his continuing fight with the U.S. government over its unwillingness to admit the possibility that more than 3,000 U.S. servicemen may today be prisoners of the Red Chinese.  And its timid refusal to take positive, strong action.

    Yesterday, I reported how the government recognized, with some reluctance, that Communist China could be holding as many as 450 U.S. soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines from since the days of the Korean war.

    Capt. Guild sets the figure at 3,141. This he arrived at by taking the number of servicemen (4,735) still unaccounted for after the war and subtracting the number of remains which the Chinese finally were pressured into returning to U.S. authorities (1,550), plus 44 others who were later established as dead.

    The Chinese claim they have no more bodies.  They refuse to admit knowledge of ever having held any of the missing men in question. 

    "The U.S. government is still asking the Chinese about the fate of the 450 whom they've established were at one time or another in the hands of the Reds," the captain told me yesterday.  "Over the years I've compiled evidence as strong, or stronger, on dozens of the others."

    The captain, in a voice disarmingly soft, continued:

    "But instead of adding to their list as more information comes to light, the government is backing down, soft-pedaling the issue.

Dec. 18, 1959, Abby

    "The Communists have a habit of secretly holding prisoners. A few years ago, after keeping 289 Spaniards for 11 years and denying it all the time, they suddenly released them.  They've done the same with Italian and German prisoners.

    "The Italians claim that the Russians still have 63,000 of their men. The Germans set their figure at 300,000."

    Today, Capt. Guild heads a loose organization known as "Fighting Homefolks of Fighting Men," made up of 1,000 relatives and friends of still missing GIs.  He gets no salary.  In fact, much of his pension check goes into his crusade.

    "We gather information and we try to keep public interest alive on the issue," he told me.  "The government's attitude is (1) they're dead, or (2) there's nothing more we can do about them than what we're doing now, short of war.

    "This, naturally, scares the public because none of us want war.
   
"What the government doesn't point out is that there's a middle ground. 

    "Instead of wasting postage on perfumed diplomatic notes and keeping men in Warsaw and Panmunjom making token protests," Guild continued, "the U.S. could use severe economic and diplomatic pressures.

    "We, as a nation, could generate worldwide opinion and force the Reds into accounting for the missing men."

Cute Game of Bum Steer

    Capt. Guild shook his head.  "But we don't.  Instead, our government officials deliberately misinform and mislead the men's kin.  In the case of an Army captain, they actually withheld the information that the Chinese admitted having the soldier as a prisoner.  They withheld the facts from the captain's father.

    "Mothers of some of the missing who have been too persistent in their pleas to Washington have actually been visited by the FBI.  I've had post office inspectors come around to see me.

    "These men," the captain, who, himself, lost a son in Korea, concluded, "proved their loyalty on the battlefield.  Now it's time for the U.S. government to prove its loyalty."

   
   

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A Kinder Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 18, 1955, Women of the Year

Dec. 18, 1955, Hedda Hopper

Dec. 18, 1955, Hedda Hopper

Dec. 18, 1955: Hedda Hopper is named one of The Times’ Women of the Year!

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

Movie Star Mystery Photo

Dec. 14, 2009, Mystery Photo    Los Angeles Times file photo

Daria Massey in a photo by Bernard of Hollywood.

“Pretty 18-year-old Daria Massey, a former child actress in such films as ‘The Miracle of Fatima,’ ‘I’ll See You in My Dreams’ and ‘The Iron Mistress,’ has the lead in the first ‘Dr. Christian’ telefilm with Jean Hersholt and Rosemary de Camp. Role is her first as a grownup actress. She plays the part of Derry, a famous Hollywood juvenile star who marries a press agent and comes to River’s End to have her child so that the secret can be kept from the world.”

Please congratulate Arye Michael Bender, Cold in PHX, Jenny M, Richard Heft, Mary Mallory, Cinnamon Carter and Michael Ryerson for identifying her.

Just a reminder on how this works: I post the mystery photo on Monday and reveal the answer on Friday … or on Saturday if I have a hard time picking only five pictures; sometimes it's difficult to choose. To keep the mystery photo from getting lost in the other entries, I move it from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday, etc., adding a photo every day.

I have to approve all comments, so if your guess is posted immediately, that means you're wrong. (And if a wrong guess has already been submitted by someone else, there's no point in submitting it again).

If you're right, you will have to wait until Friday. There's no need to submit your guess five times. Once is enough. The only reward is bragging rights. 

The answer to last week's mystery star: Signe Hasso!

Dec. 15, 2009, Mystery Photo Los Angeles Times file photo  
Update: Daria Massey in a photo published Jan. 24, 1956.

Here’s another photo of our mystery star!

Dec. 16, 2009, Mystery Photo Los Angeles Times file photo
Update: “Her Cup of Tea: Pixie-like Daria Massey, as Jennie Dexter, marries the fabulous ‘Lucky’ Baldwin, who makes his fortune in mining investments in the ‘Death Valley Days’ TV film ‘The Man Who Was Never Licked.’ ”

Here's another picture of our mystery woman!

Dec. 17, 2009, Mystery Photo Los Angeles Times file photo

Update: John Payne and Daria Massey in “The Restless Gun,” Monday, Nov. 3, 1958.

Here's our mystery woman with a [not very] mysterious companion.

Dec. 18, 2009, Mystery Photo Los Angeles Times file photo
Update: Daria Massey in a photo published May 17, 1959.

Of course, the biggest mystery about Daria Massey is what became of her. There’s nothing in The Times clips after 1961, when the paper reported that she was married to David Lee Joesting on the set of Jerry Lewis’ “The Ladies Man.”  Her last credit on imdb is a 1963 appearance in “McHale’s Navy.”

Posted in Film, Hollywood, Mystery Photo | 40 Comments

Antiwar Film Premieres Around the World

Dec. 18, 1959, On the Beach 

Stanley Kramer's “On the Beach” opens in 18 countries.

Dec. 18, 1959, On the Beach

"Linus Pauling, a Nobel Prize winner: 'It may be that someday we can look back and say 'On the Beach' is the picture that saved the world."

Dec. 18, 1959, On the Beach

The movie that was supposed to change the world by averting a nuclear holocaust is on Netflix.

Dec. 18, 1959, Holmes Alexander

Holmes Alexander’s columns  appeared in The Times from 1947 to 1963.  His last piece in The Times was published in 1981. Alexander, an author of several books who was a friend of former President Richard Nixon, died Dec. 5, 1985, at the age of 79, but for some curious reason, The Times did not publish his obituary.  

Dec. 18, 1959, Golf Ball

I cut up my share of golf balls as a kid, but nothing ever happened.

Dec. 18, 1959, Sports

Dec. 18, 1959: “There has been a lot of comment from several sources since the departure of Sid Gillman and Don Clark [from USC] that Los Angeles is the toughest city in the world on football coaches. Don't you believe it.”

… And Ted Williams is making $60,000 [$438,438.06 USD 2008].

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Location Sleuth — Update

The opening of “The High Sign.”

image Peter Mullan writes in, citing the research of John Bengtson, who suggests that the carousel used in “The High Sign” was at the Pike, a huge amusement park in Long Beach. I’m not sure that’s correct. The merry-go-round at the Pike was destroyed in a July 14, 1943, fire. Although I haven’t been able to find a photo of that carousel, the story about the fire reported that in addition to horses, the merry-go-round had half a dozen camels and a pair of swans, none of which are visible in the segment from “The High Sign.”

Posted in Film, Hollywood | 2 Comments

Women Accused of Performing Abortions

June 19, 1916, Abortions

June 19, 1916: Lila Atherton is arrested on charges of performing abortions at 2217 S. Hoover.

Dec. 18, 1919, Abortion

Dec. 18, 1919: Abortions are again allegedly being conducted at 2217 S. Hoover.

Dec. 20, 1919, Abortion

Dec. 20, 1919: Sarah J. Williams denies performing an abortion on Lucile Halley, saying that Halley had come to her after already undergoing the operation.

Jan. 22, 1920, Abortions 

Jan. 22, 1920: Lila Atherton and Sarah Williams are arrested after another woman dies from a botched abortion.

Dec. 18, 1919: Here we have the case of Lila T. Atherton and Sarah J. Williams, who evidently shared a home and an abortion business between 1916 and 1920.  There’s nothing further in the clips about them, so it’s unclear whether they were convicted or whether they were ever arrested again.

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Man Accused of Decapitating Woman

Dec. 18, 1909, Killing 

Dec. 18, 1909: The Times publishes a gruesome story from Chippewa Falls, Wis., about a man called “Crazy Ole” who is accused of shooting Mrs. Peter Shirley in the head and then decapitating her.  The woman’s 3-year-old daughter says: “Bad man come and treat mamma mean. Mamma try to drive away, and bang go gun.” The Times never reported anything further about this incident, nor can I find anything in Google’s news archives. It reminds me of “Wisconsin Death Trip.”

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December 17, 1959: Matt Weinstock

Forgotten Men

Matt WeinstockAs you probably read, film director, Joseph Von Sternberg has sued Fox for $1 million, charging the 1959 version of “The Blue Angel” with May Britt and Curt Jurgens was made without his consent and was inferior to his 1929 version with Marlene Dietrich and Emil Jannings, thereby, he contended, decreasing the original’s value.

That, of course, is a question a court will have to decide.

Meanwhile, Louise Schneider is distressed about something else involving “The Blue Angel.”

In all the hubbub over the original and the remake, no one has given credit to Heinrich Mann, whose novel, “Professor Unrat” (Professor Garbage), published in 1905, made them possible. Continue reading →

Posted in Columnists, Matt Weinstock | 1 Comment

December 17, 1959: Paul V. Coates – Confidential File

December 17, 1959: Mirror cover

We Have Living Dead Living in Red China

Paul Coates, in coat and tieHistorically, war is a cold fact of life.

And one of its most terrifying aspects is that some men conscripted by their nations to fight are swallowed up and lost in its grisly shuffle.

They’re not among the known dead.  They’re not among the known living.

They’re just gone.

After the war in Korea, The U.S. counted its casualties.  Among them were 5,866 missing. Slowly, since then, it has whittled the number down.

There were 715 who were later located in prison camps and returned.  An additional 1,550 bodies, less than half of them identifiable, were sent back to us by the Chinese.  Others, evidence definitely indicated, had died either in action or prison camps.  Still others were eventually written off by the U.S. government as “presumed dead.” Continue reading →

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A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

 
Dec. 17, 1954, Hedda Hopper 
Dec. 17, 1954, Hedda hopper  

Dec. 17, 1954: Otto Preminger would like to team up Harry Belafonte and Dorothy Dandridge after “Carmen Jones,” but “Porgy and Bess” is tied up.

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

Gangster Killed in Ambush

Dec. 17, 1959, Cover

  Gov. Brown cites a projected $70-million surplus, says he'll propose no new taxes.

Dec. 17, 1959, Tuohy

Dec. 17, 1959, Whalen

Fred Whalen admits hitting Tony Reno, who was sitting with Mickey Cohen at Rondelli's restaurant when Whalen's son, Jack, was killed.

Dec. 17, 1959, Hedda Hopper

 

Dean “The Love Bug” Jones in “The Magnificent Seven?” Lerner and Loewe are writing a little Broadway show called “Camelot.”

Dec. 17, 1959, Sports

The Baltimore Colts place seven players, including John Unitas, on the Western Conference All-Stars, playing in the Pro Bowl at the Coliseum.


Dec. 17, 1959: Roger Touhy is shot to death in Chicago only 23 days after being paroled in the kidnapping of John “Jake the Barber” Factor. Touhy was promoting his book, written with Ray Brennan, “The Stolen Years.”

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A Renaissance in Filmmaking

 Dec. 17, 1919, Strictly Confidential

An ad for "Strictly Confidential" says, “Renaissance of Motion Pictures: Goldwyn has reclaimed the motion picture from the moneymaking mechanics of industry and restored it to its pedestal as one of the greatest arts. Masterful craftsmanship in direction, absolute fidelity in settings and details and crystalline photography have rejuvenated the 'movies' and restored its popularity among discriminating people.”

Hm. I wonder what this is all about.

Dec. 17, 1919, Fraud

 

Dec. 17, 1919: Simon Frank Graziani has a machine that makes $5 bills. It's yours for $6,000.

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Man Who Was Declared Dead Returns After 10-Year Absence

May 10, 1908, Christian Science Temple, Pasadena

The Christian Scientist Church in Pasadena, designed by Franklin P. Burnham. 

 Dec. 17, 1909, Architect Dies

Franklin P. Burnham also designed the Georgia State Capitol and many civic buildings in Southern California.

Dec. 16, 1909, Returns From the Dead  

 

Dec. 17, 1909: Henry E. Christopher returns to Fresno after a 10-year absence in which he was declared dead and his property was distributed to his heirs. “He is in the best of physical health and is apparently perfectly rational,” The Times says. “According to old acquaintances, except for a few gray hairs, he looks just the same as before he went away.”

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Matt Weinstock, Dec. 16, 1959

 

Dec. 16, 1959, Peanuts
Dec. 16, 1959, Peanuts

Thought-Wave Arrest

Matt Weinstock     While making a routine inspection of a Sunset Blvd. tavern, Jack Zumstein and Adolphus Miles, supervising public health sanitarians (yes, that's the correct title), were heckled by a customer who clearly had overindulged.

    When they went behind the bar to inspect the sanitation he followed.  When they told him to get out he refused.  The owner tried to quiet him but the borracho only became more belligerent.

    The inspectors said  jokingly that if they had a dime they'd call police. The drunk loftily said he'd pay for the call.  By this time they'd finished their inspection and were heading out the door.  The heckler followed, noisily insisting they call police.

    You know that old saying, "There's never a policeman around when you need one"?  At this moment a police car stopped at the curb to check a traffic matter.

    As the officers gathered him in, the awe and bewilderment on the drunk's face was a sight to behold.  Jack and Adolphus can see him now, telling the fellows in the drunk tank how he was captured by the use of thought waves.

::


    AS PEOPLE WHO
still take trains know, the diesels arriving at Union Station sometimes go past the terminal, then back into the platforms for passengers to disembark.  A man named Frank and his daughter Pamela, returning Sunday from visiting San Diego Zoo on the Santa Fe San Diegan , heard a woman remark as the train neared the station, "Look, we're backing into Los Angeles!"  Her companion said, "That's been going on since Los Angeles was founded."

::

    GIFT BUYING
Be it fur coat or book.
One thing makes me weep:
Inexpensive ones look
So awfully cheap.
        –JULIAN BROWN

::


    ATTENTION,
hunch players, [illegible] L.A. girl, received a stuffed army mule a few days ago as a gift from her boyfriend, who attends West Point.  "That doesn't look like a mule," her father jested,  "it looks more like a cranky lion."  "It does not." she retorted, "It looks like a happy tiger!"

    On Monday, the father happened to notice that Happy Tiger was entered in the third race at Pimlico.  On a hunch he bet $2 across the board.  Yes, with a bookie.  Happy Tiger won and paid $152, $37 and $16.40 — total $205.40.

::   


    THIS IS TO
report that Bonnie Black, 6, on being confronted with an eye-winking, arm-waving electrified dummy Santa Claus in a big drugstore, remarked, "Well, that's better than that 'Ho ho,hee hee!' bit."

::


    A MOTORIST
on Beverly Blvd. swerved sharply for no apparent reason in front of car in the next lane and the near-victim sounded his horn in protest.  The guilty motorist yelled, "Aw, take it easy, you'll live longer!"  "You drive better," was the retort, "and I will!" The guilty motorist smiled and said, "You know something — you're right!"

::


    ONLY IN L.A. —
Kay Cataldi saw a woman carrying a live white hen go into a restaurant at 1st and Spring Sts.  What some people won't do to get their food cooked the way they want it. 

::


    AT RANDOM —
A dejected fellow leaving the Rams-Colts game Saturday was overheard by Frank Barron muttering, "My luck's so bad I couldn't pick last week's winners!" . . . Recommended reading for those who have strong views on the death penalty — David Dressler's Coronet article, "Capital Punishment Is Murder" . . . The clientele is at it again.  C.E. Brown of Costa Mesa says he thought the forecast, "Widespread eye irritation is expected tomorrow," meant the smog would be especially irritating to people with widespread eyes.  And when the forecast is "light eye irritation" Rich Fowler is sure glad he doesn't have light eyes. . . Needling taxpayers are referring to their exorbitant taxes as payola to tax collector H.L. Byram, who is really the innocent victim.

 
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