No Gunfire for New Year’s Eve

Dec. 30, 1909, Furniture Sale

Joseph’s has a sale on Stickley furniture!

Dec. 30, 1909, New Year's

Dec. 30, 1909: Rules for New Year’s Eve – No slapping of people on the back, no rude jostling, no disrespectful address of persons one does not know. Most important, “no discharging of firearms in the city limits.”

Posted in Architecture, Downtown, Fashion, LAPD | Comments Off on No Gunfire for New Year’s Eve

Matt Weinstock, Dec. 29, 1959

dEC. 29, 1959, Peanuts  
Dec. 29, 1959, Peanuts

Blacklist Blunder

Matt Weinstock           The case of writer Louis Pollock, who was unaware for five years that he was on a film and TV blacklist through mistaken identity, has recalled an even weirder case.

          About a year ago a studio executive told his story editor that the work of a writer on his staff could not be used.  The story editor wanted to know why.  He was told evasively that there was something subversive in the writer’s background.

          The story editor persisted over a period of time and finally broke down the executive, who told him, “He was a member of the Office Workers International.  It’s on his record.”

          The story editor had never heard of any such organization and asked to see the writer’s biographical file.  Sure enough, there it was, the writer’s own statement that he’d served with the OWI, the Office of War Information — which some moron had interpreted to mean the Office Workers International.

          As a result of this ridiculous charge the writer didn’t work for seven months.

::

Dec. 29, 1959, Bloody Christmas             ONLY IN L.A.  — A footnote on the disappearance of another landmark, the Rainbow bar on Hill St., comes from Fred Winckel.  Workmen stripping the interior of the once famous bat cave were observed by him carrying out, among other objects d’art, a pot.  Let us hope this disclosure will restore the faith of the true believers that there is indeed a pot at the end of the Rainbow.

::

          SOCIAL POSITION

Even though I possess

        savoir-faire

There’s a steady undertow

That has me constantly

         falling

Right flat on my apropos.

         –JUNE R. DRUMMOND

::

          AWESOME TALES of the Christmas shopping frenzy are still trickling in.  One concerns an arrogant matron who stormed into a small notions store in Alhambra.  She went through the greeting cards like a whirlwind, leaving them scattered all over the counter.  Then she barged over the toilet goods counter and upset everything there.  She was burrowing furiously through the lipstick when the manager came over and said plaintively, “Lady, would you please do your future shopping at Woolworth’s? They have more things to mess up than we do.”

::

          THEN THERE WAS the group of children in Rolling Hills strolling through their neighborhood singing Christmas carols.  As they broke into song in front of one house, Mark Bailey, 2, looked at them as if he thought they’d lost their minds, then, broke away from his mother and dashed up to the front door.  He rang the bell and, when a woman appeared, shouted jubilantly, “Trick or treat!”

::

            SINCE THE quiz show and payola scandals, the networks have been extremely sensitive about truth and honesty.  All in all, it has been a soul-searing experience — well, searing, anyway.  Now they’ve swung in the other direction.  For instance, announcers sign off some shows with the comment, “Portions of the proceeding program were prerecorded,” which is a little silly.

          Things have been particularly furtive at CBS, where everyone cringes under the scowls of Dr. Frank Stanton, the boss, who has come out strong for purity.  Imagine the consternation then of a CBS executive Christmas week when his daughter, 8, confided that she wasn’t sure she believed in Santa Claus anymore.   It was a terrible moment.  What should he tell her?  Fortunately she saved the situation for him.  She said she wanted him to know that regardless of her feelings she wouldn’t spill the beans to her 6-year-old sister.

::

          WHAT IS THE state of the world, with 1960 around the corner?  Several psychiatrists at the Reiss Davis Clinic for Child Guidance were chatting about the anxieties they encountered and one said, “The standard of living is way up, people are eating better than ever, but underneath there is greater insecurity, tied up with the fast pace, the pressures and tensions, and the bomb!”

          “It’s like the old joke,” another said.  “People used to insist two and two were five, now they tell us they know two and two are four but it bothers them.”

Dec. 29, 1959, Abby

   

 

Posted in Columnists, Matt Weinstock | Comments Off on Matt Weinstock, Dec. 29, 1959

Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 29, 1959

Dec. 29, 1959, Mirror

Incredibly, Old Con Game Still Works

         
Paul CoatesThe name of the game is “pigeon drop.”

          And, like pinochle, it generally requires three players.

          Unlike pinochle, however, two of them must be equipped with glib tongues.  The third player — in the parlance of those dedicated to its perpetuity — is the pigeon.

          He loses.

          The game itself is so broad, so base, so obvious, that it should never work.  But records of its success date back hundreds of years.

          It has become a classic among con artists.  They like it because it requires no elaborate plans or equipment, no special locale.

          It can be played on a street corner.  Any street corner.

Dec. 29, 1959, Whalen          Basically, its rules are these:

          First, find a pigeon.  Somebody with money (at least a few hundred bucks) and a desire for more.

           The pigeon can’t be 100% morally honest or the game won’t work.  But you’d be amazed at the number of people who considered themselves pillars of their communities until they joined the growing list of victims.

          The initial step is for one of the con artists to “find” a wallet or a purse loaded with money.  (This can be achieved by flashing a “Chicago bank roll” — a $20 or $50 bill wrapped around a wad of ones.)

          Frequently, the purse is “found” in the presence of the pigeon.  But whatever the circumstances, the con man always insists that the sucker is, by virtue of his presence, entitled to a share.

          Here’s where the “good faith” clause comes in.  The pigeon is asked to prove that he’s a respectable citizen.  He must show that he has assets.  Cash assets.

          If the victim has no large amount of money on his person, he’s asked to draw a few hundred or a few thousand dollars out of the bank, with assurance that his own money will never leave his sight.

          Variations in the plot are limitless, but generally, along about this time, the second con man joins the game.  He’s a “respectable businessman.”  He’s approached by the first con man and the victim to “hold” the purse while the victim gets his “good faith” money.

          Then, through an envelope switch, a quick “phone call to make” pitch, or any of a dozen other ruses, the pigeon and his money parted.

          The “pigeon drop” is vicious, not so much in its execution, but in its selection of victims. Invariably, the victims are the elderly — people whose moral standards can become easily confused.  The con artists will tell the victim, for example, that the money was found with a pair of race track tickets — and obviously was won gambling — and therefore it’s all right not to return it.

          A few weeks ago, at 54th and Broadway,  a pair of women, one about 30, another about 55, used a similar approach on a 69-year-old housewife who had stepped out to do some shopping.

          The housewife had suffered a stroke not too long ago and was, according to her husband, still easily confused.

          The pair offered to let her share in $9,000 they claimed to have found, and by the time they were through with her a couple of hours later, she had drawn out her entire life savings of $7,700 and was left standing on the fourth floor of an office building at 9th and Hill Sts. Waiting for a fictitious “Mr. Adkins.”

          They, of course, were long gone with her $7,700 by the time she realized what had happened.

 

Hard-Earned Savings Gone

 

          “Since before World War I, we’ve been in the small restaurant business,” the victim’s husband told me yesterday.  “We worked hard all our lives — 20 hours a day.  Now we’ve lost everything.”

          Christmas, 1959, passed by their house unnoticed, he said.

          “Our nerves are gone,” he told me.  “We’ve just gone haywire.  Christmas Eve we stayed up, but honestly, we were so confused we thought it was New Year’s Eve.”

          The man asked me not to mention his name.

          I won’t.  But I am mentioning the case, because maybe somebody else who’s a little confused might benefit from the reminder that the pigeon drop, old and unbelievable as it is, still works. 
   

Posted in Columnists, Front Pages, LAPD, Mickey Cohen | Comments Off on Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 29, 1959

A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 29, 1940, Hedda Hopper

Behind the news of Hollywood divorces (which, statistics prove, are no more numerous than those of any other town in America) behind the lurid news that our people sometimes make while blowing off steam, is the story of a job being done – a job that has great influence on the public that seeks its diversion seven nights a week in movie theaters.

Dec. 29, 1940, Hedda Hopper

Dec. 29, 1940: Hedda Hopper still has good things to say about Charlie Chaplin. “ ‘The Great Dictator’ had faults, but deserved more than faint praise from some critics. It was the greatest work of slapstick Chaplin ever made, and was a cry from the depths of the soul of humankind, through the little man, for a world at peace and a people united for one cause  — goodwill among men.” Eventually, Hopper will support “good Americans” in boycotting Chaplin’s films.

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

Three Tristans!

image 

Ramon Vinay, the tenor cast with Birgit Nilsson in "Tristan," said he was too ill to do the entire opera, so Rudolph Bing had Vinay sing Act I, Karl Liebel (likewise under the weather) sing Act II and Albert da Costa (also ill) sing Act III.

Dec. 29, 1959, Ernie Kovacs

Hedda Hopper interviews Ernie Kovacs.

Dec. 29, 1959, Dick Norman

Jeane Hoffman profiles Stanford’s Dick Norman.

Dec. 29, 1959: A fascinating bit of insight from Ernie Kovacs: “The part of the public I lose completely is the 8-to-5 clerk who bowls every Thursday night and has Sunday dinner with his mother one week and his wife's mother the next.” I wonder what Kovacs would say about TV audiences today.

Posted in #opera, broadcasting, Columnists, Sports, Television | 1 Comment

Husband Shoots Wife, Two Others, on Streetcar

Dec. 29, 1919, Briggs 
“That Guiltiest Feeling,” by Clare Briggs.

Dec. 29, 1919, Shooting

July 9, 1920, Acquittal

Dec. 29, 1919: Former Army Capt. Raymond C. Potter gets on a streetcar and shoots his wife because she’s riding with another man. One of his shots goes wild and hits her companion, then strikes the woman sitting in the seat behind them. Not only did his wife survive, the Potters reconciled and said they would profit by their experience. The Times never reported on whether charges were filed against Potter for shooting the other people.

Posted in #courts, Transportation | Comments Off on Husband Shoots Wife, Two Others, on Streetcar

Airplanes Arrive for Aviation Meet

image 

Dec. 29, 1909: Preparations continue for Aviation Week and the railroads are reporting unusually heavy ticket sales to people coming to Los Angeles for the event.  In addition to the airplanes and balloons, the meet will feature a carnival midway with a Ferris wheel, a merry-go-round and an “educated horse.”

Posted in Transportation | Comments Off on Airplanes Arrive for Aviation Meet

Matt Weinstock, Dec. 28, 1959

Dec. 28, 1959, Films

The Pigeon Problem

Matt Weinstock           A woman on the telephone a few days ago asked excitedly, “What should I do about these crazy pigeons?  They’ve moved into our neighborhood (3rd and La Cienega) and they’re all over the place.  One of them flew down and bumped into my boy.  It could have blinded him.  They’re a menace.  And when I call the City Hall all I get is the run-around.”

          I could give the lady no solace then and I can give her no hope of relief now, after talking to Dick Bonner of the animal regulation department.  The blunt truth is that there’s nothing anyone can do about pigeons.

          THERE’S A CITY ordinance against feeding them in certain downtown areas but it’s not enforced.  In fact, it’s considered unenforceable.  Besides, feeding friendly pigeons is one of the few pleasures left to many apartment-dwelling oldsters in the midtown section, particularly in the parks.

          Meanwhile, roving bands of pigeons, some beautifully colored, have taken over some areas.  They go where the food is likely to be.  Some are so bold they dare you to step on them as you walk. 

          Some cities have tried exterminating them by electrocution — juicing up a wire they stand on — and putting a sleeping potion in grain they eat and trapping them in sticky stuff, but none of these has proved satisfactory.

          As Dick Bonner puts it, “We’re groping for solutions.”

::

VAGRANT THOUGHT on seeing a house on Beverly Blvd. at Westlake Ave. being dismantled:  There’s nothing so naked looking as a bathtub out of context, that is, left in the open amidst rubble.

::

TRY IT AGAIN

Riddle check horn ersatz

Unicorn err

Eton ace wrist muss pi;

Hypotenuse sum ampule

                doubt aplomb

Unsaid water good buoy

                am eye.

          –MUTTER GUSE

::

THE JAPANESE gardener who has taken care of Jack Waxman’s home on Beverly Glen Blvd. for several years is a cheerful, polite, hard-working little man of about 55.  He has only one fault.  He never cashes his monthly paychecks.

Dec. 28, 1959, Road Rage

When Jack discovered this he asked about it.  “Got no time to go to bank,” the gardener replied.  However, he promised he would.

But he didn’t and months later Jack appealed to him again.  “You’re messing up my account,” he said.  “Besides, what if I went broke — you’d be out all that money.”

“Oh no, you got plenty money,” was the reply, “no afraid.”  Again he promised to cash his back checks and again he didn’t.

So Jack, unknown to the gardener, has opened an account in his name with a savings and loan firm and deposits an equivalent amount to the check he gives him each month.  The inscrutable one, who still hasn’t cashed check, now has more than $2,000 on deposit drawing 4½% interest.

::

IN ONE OF those unpredictable quirks of fate which occasionally upset the averages, George, a pool hall racker, and Ed, a lunchroom chef, parlayed an initial ante of $200 into around $15,000, playing the market.

They began living high on the hog — new cars, new clothes, Las Vegas.

One day their paper wealth disappeared as fast as it had come, due to a drop in the market, and the cars were repossessed, their new-found friends slunk away and life became grim
and normal.

One day newsman Mike Molony found George back at his old job, brushing the green felt on a pool table, and asked him how things were with him.

“Fine,” George said.  “It was nice while it lasted but I don’t mind much.  After all, people will always be playing pool.”

It’s a comforting thought in a world of change.

::

WOULDN’T YOU KNOW — W. Wilson’s wife bought him a used radio for the store he manages in Burbank.  After plugging it in he turned it on and got a rebroadcast of a 1954 football game.  The refrain from the customers: “Man, you really got an old radio there!”

 
Posted in Columnists, Film, Freeways, Hollywood, Matt Weinstock, Transportation | Comments Off on Matt Weinstock, Dec. 28, 1959

Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 28, 1959

 

Dec. 28, 1959, Mirror Cover

Bus Crash felt in Redondo Beach

 

Paul Coates          (News item) TUCSON, Ariz., Dec. 20.  A double-decker bus and a cattle truck collided head on today, killing nine persons and injuring 32.

          The bus was a Greyhound special added for holiday travelers.  On the Los Angeles-to-New Orleans run, it was only minutes out of Tucson when the crash occurred . . .

::

          “I’m the commission agent for Greyhound in Redondo Beach,” Helen Stierli told me.  “I know that I’m not supposed to become personally involved in these matters.  It shouldn’t be any of my business, really.

          “But in a small town — well, things are a little more personal than in a big town.”

          Mrs. Stierli explained that she first heard about the crash on Sunday night. 

          “Immediately, I had the terrible feeling that I’d sold somebody a ticket on that bus,” she said.  “I was restless and worried all night.  Then, Monday morning, I rushed to the office and checked the list.

image           “And sure enough,” she added, “there was Mrs. Rodden and her two sons.  I saw those names and I just broke down.”

          (The news reports read:  Dead:  Johnny Lee Rodden, 7, son of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Rodden, Redondo Beach.  Injured: Mrs. Margaret Rodden, 38; Charles Rodden Jr., 15.) 

          Mrs. Stierli continued: “I’ve been in Redondo 11 years, but I didn’t know the family.  Not until the week of their trip.  They were going to spend Christmas with Mrs. Rodden’s mother in Lubbock, Texas.

          “Just the mother and the boys were going.  Mr. Rodden was going to stay in Redondo and work.  I don’t know.  Maybe he was going to join them later.

          “She called me three times about the trip.  The first time was just for information.  The second time was on how much baggage they could take.  And the last time was to ask if she could wait until Friday to pay for the tickets.  That’s when her husband would get his paycheck.

          “I remember the last call.  She said she was turning it over on her mind whether she should drive, instead.

          “I told her . . .” Mrs. Stierli hesitated.  “I told her that it was safer to go by bus.  You see, I was in a head-on auto crash once.  And five years ago, my husband lost a leg in a traffic accident. 

          “Maybe that’s why I can’t keep out of this case.  I know the sorrow and the hardship.  At times like these the financial strain can make it so much worse, and the Roddens were just average people.  They weren’t rich.”

          Mrs. Stierli sighed.  “The day she came in for the tickets, they were $10 more than she’d figured.  She’d misadded.  Two round-trips from here to Lubbock were $60.45 apiece, plus the half-fare ticket for Johnny Lee.  The $10 difference seemed to mean a lot to her.
 
Asks About Refund
 

          “That’s why, after the accident, I checked with Greyhound downtown right away to find out about getting their fare money back for them.  That way, before they came in, I would know how to handle it.

          “I’ve never had a situation like this before.”

          “And what happened?” I asked Mrs. Stierli.

          “Well,” she replied, “the man in the traffic office checked company policy for me.  He told me that when they brought the tickets in, I could refund for the distance from Tucson to Lubbock and the return trip.

          “But,” she added, “they’d have to pay for the trip from Los Angeles to the time of the accident.  That’s the policy.

          “I can’t say as I understand it,” she told me, “bu
t there’s a lot of things nowadays that I don’t understand.”
  

Dec. 28, 1959, Abby

Posted in Columnists, Paul Coates | Comments Off on Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 28, 1959

A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 28, 1939 Hedda Hopper 

Dec. 28, 1939: Hedda Hopper calls “Of Mice and Men” one of the best pictures of the year.

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | Comments Off on A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

The Age of Anxiety and the Age of Maturity

Dec. 28, 1959, The 1950s  

Dec. 28, 1959, The 1950s

Dec. 28, 1959: “Should the president have consulted Congress before ordering Americans into action?

“Would there be time, in the next war, to consult Congress?

“In this new age, what was the role of infantry, battleships and conventional weapons?

“Should American troops be dispersed overseas or kept home to man the walls of a ‘Fortress America?’ 

“How much reliance could be placed on the allies of the United States?

“In short — Where do we stand? How do we survive?

“Americans searched for a single, all-embracing answer and found none.

“So the 1950s began as the age of anxiety.”

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on The Age of Anxiety and the Age of Maturity

The Empty Prophecy of Prohibition

Dec. 28, 1919, Raid  
Detectives Brown, Barnett and Harry Raymond in a raid on a club in Little Tokyo.

image

Dec. 28, 1919, Prohibition

Dec. 28, 1919:  The Times analyzes the first six months of Prohibition and finds that many predictions have not come true. Some minor offenses have decreased, but violent crimes have risen sharply, police say. Instead of needing fewer officers, the LAPD says it needs to double the force and build bigger jails for all the prisoners charged under the new laws.

"The best prophets all seem to have died in time to get written up in the Bible. Many things that were expected to happen after last July 1 have not happened; some unexpected things have. No prognosticator who held forth last June seems to have been altogether right, unless he confined his remarks to the obvious and then qualified that," The Times says.

Posted in #courts, Food and Drink, Front Pages, LAPD, Nightclubs | Comments Off on The Empty Prophecy of Prohibition

An Actress and Her Dog

Dec. 28, 1909, Cover 

"Five iron manhole caps, each weighing more than 100 pounds, shot into the air last night when "burn-out gas" in the sewer between Spring Street and the northeast corner of 1st and Main streets blew them higher than the trolley wires."

olga_nethersole_crop

It’s our old friend, Olga Nethersole!

Dec. 28, 1909, Nethersole

Dec. 28, 1909: I couldn’t decide on a single story in today’s paper because the whole page is interesting. There’s the unfortunate deaf and dumb man who is arrested for being drunk and is booked as John Doe No. 2 … A couple of con artists passing themselves off as the American Salvation Army … Preparations for a huge project to tunnel through the Newhall grade … And an interview with Olga Nethersole that’s quite unlike the celebrity interviews published today.

A sample: "Nethersole has become famous through doing plays that concern questionable damsels who kiss like a house on fire and in the last act tear up the rugs and generally rough-house the furniture of the flat and cry: 'You shall not leave meh; you shall not leave meh; yow, yow, yow.' "

Posted in Animals, LAPD, Stage, Transportation | Comments Off on An Actress and Her Dog

A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 27, 1938, Hedda Hopper 

Dec. 27, 1938: “On the ‘Wizard of Oz’ set they've added 50 schoolchildren to the 150 midgets, being sure the kids were the same size. Makes it mighty difficult for Miss MacDonald and her staff of schoolteachers, because the minute a scene is finished they grab the kids for their lessons and nine times out of 10 what they find on their laps is a midget.”

Posted in Film, Hollywood | Comments Off on A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Predictions for the 1960s

Dec. 27, 1959, Cover

Dec. 27, 1959: The Times leads with the Nixon-Rockefeller story. 

image 

Sen. Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz.) expresses strong support for Nixon.

 Dec. 27, 1959, Kyle Palmer

Times Political Editor Kyle Palmer, as to be expected, is all for Nixon.

Dec. 27, 1959, Nixon, African American Workers 

Nixon calls for job training for African Americans. Note the statistics on complaints, mostly  from African Americans, about job discrimination by government contractors.

Dec. 27, 1959, The 1950s 

The 1950s: A decade of shadow and light.

Dec. 27, The 1950s

"Our age," said the historian Arnold Toynbee, "will be remembered, not for its horrifying crimes or astonishing inventions but because it is the first age since the dawn of history in which mankind dared to believe it practical to make the benefits of civilization available to the whole human race."

 Dec. 27, 1959, Bert Heath

The Times publishes the obit of Bert Heath, the pet editor.

Dec. 27, 1959, Hedda Hopper 

Hedda Hopper picks next year’s stars: Juliet Prowse, Roger Smith, Dwayne Hickman and Shirley Knight.

Dec. 27, 1959, Hedda Hopper 

Keep your eye on Jo “Thirteen Ghosts” Morrow!

Dec. 27, 1959, Hedda Hopper 

  Also watch for Maggie “My Mother the Car” Pierce!

Dec. 27, 1959, Sports
Casey Stengel praises the Dodgers' Walter Alston.

 

Dec. 27, 1959: Sure, it’s easy to make fun of these predictions, whether they are political or in film. The most poignant lines are from AP roundup on the decade, in words that ring true 50 years later: “Hunger and illiteracy, aggravated by the ‘population explosion,’ lay heavily over vast areas of the earth.”
Posted in Dodgers, Film, Front Pages, Hollywood, Politics, Richard Nixon, Sports | Comments Off on Predictions for the 1960s

Angeles Ship Launched

Dec. 27, 1919, Clare Briggs 

“Wonder What a Man Window-Shopping Things About?” by Clare Briggs.

Dec. 27, 1919, Angeles

Dec. 27, 1919: The Angeles, an 8,800-ton cargo ship, is launched at the Los Angeles Shipbuilding and Dry Dock Co. 

Posted in art and artists, Comics, Transportation | Comments Off on Angeles Ship Launched

Minister Vanishes After Predicting Christ’s Return on Christmas Day

Dec. 27, 1909, Lynching

Dec. 27, 1909: A mob in Hurley, Va., lynches Henry Pennington after he killed Samuel Baker, who was on his way to a Christmas program with his family. Pennington had run away, but Baker’s wife tricked him into coming back by asking him to help her take the body home. When Pennington returned, she grabbed his pistol and shot him. Pennington got the gun away from her, shot her and tried to kill the two Baker children and a companion.

Dec. 27, 1909, August Vollmer 

The Rev. E.A. Devennis flees after promising Portland, Ore., worshipers that Christ would return for Christmas.

Notice the mention of Police Chief August Vollmer of Berkeley. Vollmer took a one-year appointment as police chief in Los Angeles from 1923 to 1924 and is often credited with many reforms in law enforcement. He was replaced by Chief R. Lee Heath, who was followed in 1926 by Chief James Davis, a prominent figure in the corrupt Frank Shaw administration of the 1930s. 

Dec. 27, 1909, Shoplifters 

A vegetarian hotel in Kansas City!

Dec. 27, 1909: The stores and police are relieved that the Christmas shoplifting season is over. One woman is arrested after stealing an envelope of merchandise held as evidence in another shoplifting case.

Posted in City Hall, Downtown, Food and Drink, LAPD | Comments Off on Minister Vanishes After Predicting Christ’s Return on Christmas Day

Matt Weinstock, Dec. 26, 1959

Paper in a Trash Pile

Matt Weinstock     Another frantic call came into the county sanitation office the other day.  This time it was a woman on the west side excitedly reporting she'd inadvertently discarded her divorce papers in the trash can.  She had to get them back, she said desperately.

    Fortunately she'd gotten the number of the collection truck, 36261.  If it could be stopped, wherever it was, and unloaded, she'd rush over and look through the stuff herself.

    Frank Bowerman told her this was impossible.  He explained that when a load is picked up and emptied into the hopper, a hinged pressure plate packs it tight until capacity is reached.  Only thing to do was to go to Landfill No.1 on the Palos Verdes Peninsula, where it could be dumped, and look.

Dec. 26, 1959, Predictions     She appeared there with another couple, located the load, and after more than three hours of pawing through four tons of debris, found her precious divorce papers.  She thanked the superintendent and triumphantly headed home.

   

::


    THE WAY A
fellow in the next booth was telling it, the driver of a panel truck doing a steady 55 on Santa Ana Freeway kept reaching out the window and banging the side with a tire iron.

    A policeman, baffled by this procedure, caught up with him and shouted, "Do you mind telling me what you're doing?'

    "Well, you see, officer, this is a two-ton truck and I've got three tons of canary birds in the back and I have to keep one ton of them in the air."

::


    LINES AT 5 P.M.
It doesn't take cable,
It doesn't take rope,
To be tied up, unable
To see any hope.

Frustratingly pent by
The cars all around,
To learn what is meant by
The term, homeward
    bound.
    –RICHARD ARMOUR

::


    UNFORTUNATELY
this city has no one around, as far as is known, to record the picturesque speech of city and county officials as Herb Caen of the S.F. Chronicle recently uncovered up there.  The champion phrase-maker was a former supervisor named James McSheehy.
   
Studying plan for a public building, he said, "It has all the earmarks of an eyesore."  On another issue he thundered, "The handwriting on the wall is as clear as a bell."

    Others:  "Let's call a shovel a shovel, no matter who we hit!"  "Ladies, I pave here some figures which you can carry in your heads, which I know are concrete!"  "Yes, I agree that it is all water over a wheel, but now it has come back to haunt us!"  His all time classic was probably, "You can't straddle the fence and still keep your ear to the ground!"

::


    A PERSON WOULD
suppose that New Zealand is shielded by distance from some of the effusions of our civilization but apparently not.  This letter from R. White, Northumbria, Henderson, Auckland, was received by Jack Brown of Armed Forced Radio Services in Hollywood:

    "On local networks here we get such a heavy dosage of rock n' roll, clanging geetars, popular slang and jargon that it really does a great country like the United States as injustice.  Fortunately, your correspondent knows your country is not populated entirely by 13-year-olds."

    Are you sure?

::


    FOOTNOTES —
A man playing cards in the Horseshoe poker parlor in Gardena was also listening to music via an earplug attached to a portable radio and reading a pocket book.  Furthermore, a spy reports, he was losing . . . Jim Albert, 8, seeing the first flying fish on a trip to Catalina Island, exclaimed, "Mommy, when we come next time can I take some birdseed to feed the flying fish?"

Dec. 26, 1959, Abby

Posted in Columnists, Matt Weinstock, Politics, Richard Nixon | Comments Off on Matt Weinstock, Dec. 26, 1959

Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 26, 1959

Dec. 26. 1959, Mirror Cover

Tipping Tip: Don't Forget Your Barber

Paul Coates    As we approach the turn of a new decade, the soundest advice I can offer you for a long, full life is never lie to your doctor or your lawyer.

    And above all, never stiff your barber at Christmastime.

    They are hypersensitive, sentimental souls with long memories, razor-sharp razors and a lust of revenge.

    At least, Maury Mandell is.

    He's the boys' beautician at Rothchild's, and trims such noteworthy scalps as Tony Martin's, Brod Crawford's, Gig Young's and Tony Curtis'.

    But Maury's biggest spender had always been the shoe king, Harry Karl.  He hands his barber a holiday tip that approximates what most people hand out for a down payment on a house.
 
   And since Maury usually spends it in advance, he waits all year for Karl's Christmas visit.

Dec. 26, 1959, Rockefeller     A year ago, Karl left town shortly before the holidays.  He was off on an extended European jaunt and didn't return for six months.

    Early in June, he walked into the barbershop and up to his customary chair.

    With a flourish, Maury whipped the sheet across the customer's midriff, nodded to him, and cried jovially:

    "Merry Christmas, Mr. Karl."

    I neglected to tell you, didn't I, about the American pilot who was on aircraft duty in the Pacific during World War II?

    Without a doubt, he was the most ineffective flier on the carrier.  He could never get his plane off the deck, or back on, without a near accident.  His guns and equipment were never properly checked before take-off.  And he couldn't seem to keep in formation on a mission.

    Finally, his commander called him aside,

    "You haven't done anything right since you joined up," he said bitterly.  "You're a detriment to the entire service.

    "One more mistake," he added, waving a warning finger, "just one more, and I'm going to have you grounded."

Prays He'll Do Right

    That night, the pilot went to his quarters and said an urgent prayer.  "Just once," he pleaded, "let me do everything right."

    The following morning, he woke up feeling vastly reassured.  He made a perfect take-off from the deck.  His guns had been checked and all were in excellent working order.  He stayed right in the flight plan until the enemy planes broke the formation.

    But even then, he was responsible for shooting down three Japanese planes. 

    Then he sighted the carrier, swooped down, made a perfect landing, jumped out and saluted smartly.

    "Well, sir," he said proudly, "how about that?  I didn't do anything wrong."

    The officer looked up at him, smiled, bowed low and replied:

    "Ah so.  Just one r'itta mistake." 
   

Posted in Columnists, Front Pages, Paul Coates, Richard Nixon | Comments Off on Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Dec. 26, 1959

A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Dec. 26, 1963 

Dec. 26, 1963: “I was horrified by ‘The Victors,’ from which I expected so much. It's the last picture in the world you'd want to see this season. I'm amazed at Carl Foreman, who wrote 'River Kwai' and 'Guns of Navarone.' He seemed to go out of his way to show the American solider at his brutal, bestial worst. One shoots a puppy dog that follows a transport. Grimmest scene shows a deserter being shot on Christmas Day, with hundreds of GIs looking on in the snow as Frank Sinatra sings 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.' Oh, no!”

And it's not on Netflix! –lrh

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | Comments Off on A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist