"Never Be Catty When Boys Are Around!"

Token Trouble

    An angry lady who rides the buses left five tokens on my desk with this note:  "The drivers won't take these old tokens and I am unable to get to the designated places to cash them.  There are supposed to be about a million of them outstanding which is a neat item of around $165,000.  I'm sure there are many others who are outraged by MTA's arrogant handling of this matter and maybe you will start a campaign to turn them over to some worthy cause.  This is a small, initial donation."

    Let us now consider the rebuttal.

    WHEN THE FARE RAISE went into effect about 10 days ago from 17 cents (actually 16 2/3 cents or six tokens for $1) to 20 cents a ride, passengers were notified the old tokens could not be used.  The reason was that the old tokens register the same in the fare box as the new ones and drivers would be stuck for the difference.  Permitting passengers to use an old token and four pennies, MTA said, would only add to the confusion.

    Another factor was that some alert bus riders, advised of the impending fare increase, bought and hoarded the 17-cent tokens, anticipating a 3-cent profit on each one.  As an example, one woman cashed $600 worth of them when it became clear they couldn't be used.  Now, MTA reports, they are being cashed in a  steady stream.

    BIG CITY CRISES — A young woman in an upset state phoned her mother that her car had been stolen.  Ma, charmingly inclined toward literal-mindedness, said, "Well, I suppose that means you're not coming over today!"  . . . A hillside subscriber whose morning paper had not been delivered phoned the circulation department and asked frantically that a copy be rushed out immediately.  "I don't dare make a move," he said, "until I read my horoscope!"

    THE PHILANDERER
With pen in hand, I sit and
    try
To convince her I'm a rover,
Alas, it seems my mind
    runs dry,
But my ashtray runneth
    over.
        CLAUDIA BAUM

    IN THE same mail came: 

    (1) A note from Judy Udkoff, Unihi senior, asking a typographical posy for 11 persons who stopped and offered help when she had a flat tire on Sepulveda Blvd.  One man drove her to a phone to call her auto club.  States Judy, "I didn't realize people did things like that."

    (2) A note from Mrs. M.L. Harris, whose car conked out as she made a left turn in Northridge, blocking three lanes of traffic.  She tried to push it but couldn't and asked two workmen to help her, please.  "Help you do what?" one asked.  Finally they did but one said, "These little cars need gas, too, lady."  Then the station attendant, who'd been watching, said, "You must have flooded it."  Turned out her clutch has failed, as she suspected.  Of the reluctant assistance, she asks, "What has happened to chivalry?"

    It went thataway.

    AROUND TOWN — A beach paper printed a picture of Ike arriving in L.A. and replaced it in a later edition with a photo of a soldier at Ft. Benning, Ga., parachuting to earth.  However, someone neglected to change the caption and the paper seemed to be reporting that Ike arrived by chute.  It's a collector's item . . . The Title Insurance publication T 'n' T lists employees' vital statistics under the headings Moonlight and Roses (engaged couples), Rice and Old Shoes (newly married) and Patter of Little Feet (births).

    PUBLIC AT LARGE — Roberta Bent, 16, who has a fine voice and often sings for organizations in Sun Valley, was asked to appear before  a youth group.  She was told, however, she could not be paid, she'd have to sing "au gratin" . . . W.G. Kibbey of Tujunga recalls that Army doctors in World War I found that soldiers who chewed tobacco seldom got the flu.  A case of the cure being worse than the disease . . . Phil Wolfson figures the Cubans must be awfully sick these days, taking so much Castro oil.