Caring for Stolen Car

Feb. 11, 1920, Briggs

“When a Feller Needs a Friend,” by Clare Briggs. [Note: The issue of child labor is a rare departure for Briggs, who usually kept his material humorous—lrh].

Feb. 11, 1920, Car Theft

Feb. 11, 1920:  Roy Mitchell denies stealing a car. Notice that The Times identified him as a Negro, which was typical in newspapers of the era and was common into the 1940s.

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Woman Refuses to Testify Against Husband in Prostitution Case

Feb. 11, 1910, Ida Densmore
Feb. 11, 1910, Ida Densmore 

Feb. 11, 1910: A.C. Berchtold, onetime head of the police "purity squad," is found hiding in the closet when detectives serve a search warrant on Myrtle Booth. "His costume was not suitable for a polite social call," The Times says.

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Matt Weinstock, Feb. 10, 1960

Feb. 10, 1960, Peanuts Feb. 10, 1960, Peanuts

The Recollectors

Matt Weinstock     Reading the testimony in the Finch trial, I am again filled with awe and admiration for those who can remember exactly where they were standing and what they were thinking when they heard the fatal shot or what they said at 2:46 p.m. last March 27 in a bar.  Obviously more people than is generally realized have what is known as total recall.

    With me it's the opposite.  I have total lack of recall, even about what happened last Thursday.  If a merciless prosecutor or barrister cracked down on me in the witness chair I'm afraid I could only say weakly, "I don't know" or "I don't remember."  And frankly I'd feel better if more witnesses admitted lack of knowledge or memory once in a while.  I feel all alone in my blankness of recollection.

Feb. 10, 1960, Mother     Of course, a witness is liable to get into trouble if he keeps saying he doesn't know or doesn't remember.  No one, including the judge and jury, will believe that either.

    Clearly it is not the era of absent-minded but rather the epoch of the confessors.

::

    BRIDGE, the card game, is having a revival, and John J. Anthony, the noted marital problem solver, recalls the time in New York he used to play with a sharp group that included playwright George S. Kaufman.

    One night Kaufman drew as a partner a wealthy newcomer who immediately revealed a shocking lack of knowledge of the game.  He bid recklessly, then made silly mistakes.  Kaufman bore up bravely for a while but during a hand when he was dummy he said to his partner, "Tell me, when did you learn this game — and if you say today I want to know what time!"

::

    SUDDEN THOUGHT
Though for my past I've
    nothing but praise.
I was an unremarkable
    boy in many ways.
        SHELDON WHITE

::

    A LADY NAMED Julia confides that the trading stamp madness gets stickier all the time.

    Needing toothpaste the other day, she couldn't decide which of three stores in the same block to go to — the market that gives blue ones, the market that gives light green ones or the drugstore that gives dark green ones.  It was suggested that one way to conquer this indecision was to go to a store that didn't give any.  "Are you crazy?"  Julia said.  "If you don't collect stamps people look at you as if you've lost your mind!"

    The lunacy has also broken out on a couple of other fronts.  A chain letter offering blue stamps is reported making the rounds.  And  a group of Beverly Hills ladies are using them instead of chips in their regular poker games.

::

   A HERMOSA Beach man, Lou Capek, has been going along with MVD director Robert McCarthy's ukase suspending licenses of drunk drivers, but since hearing a judge on TV he is troubled.

image21

    The judge agreed that inebriated  motorists must be kept off the highways and streets but he pointed out that the drunks caused only 6% of accidents whereas speeding drivers were responsible for 30%.  His conclusion was that speeders should be treated at least as harshly.

    Lou, who claims he got an A in his university logic course, reasons, "If 6% of accidents are caused by drunk drivers and 30% by speeders, obviously the greatest percentage of accidents, 64%, is caused by sober, non-speeding drivers.  Therefore, If we are to reduce accidents, sober, non-speeding drivers should have their licenses suspended first.  I am mailing mine to Sacramento right now."

::


    AT RANDOM —
Even more vexing than L.A. freeways, says Walter Tuesley, visiting from Seattle, are the pavement notices, "Ped Xing" . . . It seems to Louis Luk that TV's extended moment of truth has spilled over into the movies.  A trailer for a film about spacemen proclaims it to be "UNBELIEVABLE!" . . . Oops, a torn shade on a Pasadena store makes a sign seem to state, "hotography" . . . And the sports boys are having a field day in their reports on Squaw Valley.  One headline states, "Europeans OK Squaw."  Usually there's no space for "Valley."

Feb. 10, 1960, Abby

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Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Feb. 10, 1960

Feb. 10, 1960, Mirror Cover

A Pugilist's Destiny Is in His Hands

Paul Coates    I won't kid you.  I'm embarrassed.

    For years I've been writing, here, about the evils of boxing.  If you check the files, you'll see that I've called it a racket infested to its foundations with unscrupulous crooks.

    But now, I'm mired in it as deep as Frankie Carbo and Blinky Palermo.

    I own a fighter.  A 126-pound amateur named Davey Alanis.

    It happened quite suddenly yesterday afternoon when I got a call from Frank Elmquist, a legitimate reporter for an unidentified newspaper who, after hours, engages in little illegitimacies like flacking for the Golden Gloves Tournament which begins tomorrow at the Olympic Auditorium.

     "Paully," he said, in his syrupy, after hours voice, "how'd you like to own a fighter?  Won't cost you a cent."

image      "No man can own another man," I told him curtly.  "It's a basic concept of our democracy that all men–"

    "It's just a  stunt," he interrupted.  "We give you your own fighter so you'll write about him and the tournament gets publicity. Whatta you say, Paully?"

    He hit me where I'm vulnerable.  I can never say no to anyone who calls me "Paully."  Besides, he knew that in my whole life  I had  never, ever really owned anything, or for that matter, anybody, outright.  Everything I have is either mortgaged, rented or gummed up in the confusion of the California community property law.

    "I'll send your boy around to see you so you can get acquainted,"  he said hurriedly.  Then he added, in a voice choked with genuine emotion:  "And Paully, thanks a million.  You're a brick."

    He hung up.  And I sat there staring at the phone.  I was the owner of a fighter.  But what were my responsibilities?  Elmquist never did tell me.

    Later that afternoon, a dapper youngster in fancy gray gabardines came to my office.

    "I'm Davey Alanis,"  he said.  "Frank Elmquist sent me."

   Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial I motioned him to a chair.  We sized each other up for a long moment.  I cleared my throat and said, "I guess Elmquist told you all about it, didn't he?"

    "He didn't tell me anything," Davey replied.  "He just said to come over."

    "Oh," I said.  "Well, Davey, I'm your new owner."

    "Okay," Davey replied.

    "Listen, Davey,"  I pleaded after a moment.  "Am I supposed to do something for you?  Like, get you a pair of trunks? Buy you a mouth guard? You got a kimono?"

    "Kimono?"  he asked.

    "Kimono.  Bathrobe.  Whatever you call it.  You got one?"

    "Sure," Davey said.  "I got all that stuff.

     "Well then," I said irritably, "whatta you want?"

    "Nothing," Davey snapped.  "The guy just told me to come over here.  So here I am."

    We stared at each other again.  After an uncomfortable lapse of time, I said:  "You look like a nice kid.  Why do you want to be a fighter?"

    "I like it," he told me.

Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial    I walked over and gave him a  paternal pat on the shoulder.  "You know the odds?"  I said gently.  "One guy makes it for every 10,000 who don't.  And when you get to the top, what have you got?"

    "Money, man," Davey replied.

     "Money," I snorted.  "And the mob cuts it up a dozen ways before you see any of it.  And peroxide blonds fawn all over you.  But they don't like you for what you are.  It's who you are.  Is that the shallow existence you want, Davey?"

Kid Allergic to Diving

    "Yeah,"  Davey said.

    I gave my cigar a thoughtful puff and sidled back up to the youth.  "Kid,"  I whispered conspiratorially, "if that's the way you really feel, let me ask you something.  Would you be willing to take a dive?"

    He looked at me in honor.  "That,"  he said disgustedly, "is dishonest."

    And that's my luck, right?  As long as I've been forced into this vicious, unscrupulous racket, you'd think I'll be able to make a fast buck out of it.

    But no.  Not me.  I got to wind up with a Joe Palooka.

 
   

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Charles Champlin on ‘Cruising’

Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising
Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising 
Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising

Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising Feb. 10, 1980, Cruising 

 

Feb. 10, 1980: Charles Champlin writes, “The principal complaint, artistically, about 'Cruising' is that it is not very clear at the rudimentary level of exposition of character and event. The problem, as with [William] Friedkin's 'Sorcerer,' which he also wrote himself, is in a script that never seems sure enough what it wants to say or prove.”

Posted in #gays and lesbians, Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Film, 1965

Feb. 10, 1965, Creature Feature 

Now showing, a Peter Cushing double feature: “Curse of Frankenstein” and “Horror of Dracula.” 
Feb. 10, 1965: Also opening, “Two on a Guillotine.” Directed by William Conrad!

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Recalling the Days of Payola

Feb. 18, 1960, Payola 

Norm Prescott I was  "blown away" today to see my dad on the front page of the Mirror News. My dad, Norm Prescott, was a big DJ in Boston and New York. We all moved to Los Angeles in 1966.

The guys who got the most amount of press in this congressional investigation, were of course, Dick Clark and Alan Freed. This scandal ruined Freed, and we all know about Dick Clark.

But my dad pointed out, that at the time, payola was actually legal! There were no laws for a time in the 1950's about DJs taking payola. There were trips to Florida, I'm sure there was money, too. But as my dad always pointed out….he 'declared' all his gifts with the IRS. He might have been the only jock to do so! That's why he was never fined or indicted. Others weren't so lucky.

I went on to a long career in radio as well———-I only WISH I was offered payola. (Which in the present era wasn't in the form of money.  Trips…..yes.  Radio station promotion money–yes.

I can't say any more—I'll have to check on the statute of limitations!

Jeff Prescott, La Jolla

 

Note: After coming to Los Angeles, Norm Prescott was one of the founders of Filmation. He died in 2005 at the age of 78.

Photo of Norman Prescott courtesy of the Prescott family

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Finch Trial Focuses on Victim’s Will

Feb. 10, 1960, Carole Tregoff 
Photograph by John Malmin / Los Angeles Times

[Update: Feb. 10, 1960: Carole Tregoff wears a pink sweater her mother made for her because the courtroom was so cold].

image
Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 10, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 10, 1960: Q: Now let me ask you this, Dr. Finch, in discussing your plans for the future with her, and particularly when you started discussing the rental of this apartment, did either of you ever suggest that adultery was wrong, and that you might both use self-control and wait until you both had divorces before indulging in sexual relationship?

A. No, sir.

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‘A Certain Infection’ in ‘Borax King’ Divorce Trial

Feb. 10, 1920, Briggs
“Ain’t It a Grand and Glorious Feelin’?” by Clare Briggs.

Feb. 10, 1920, Borax King

Feb. 10, 1920: More revelations in the divorce trial of “Borax King” Thomas Thorkildsen. Notice how daintily The Times treats this issue: "…the woman was the donor and the man the recipient of a certain infection. Mrs. Thorkildsen claims the reverse is true, that the man was the donor."

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Teenage War Hero Arrested in Los Angeles

Feb. 10, 1910, War Hero

Feb. 10, 1910, War Hero 

Feb. 10, 1910: The Times reports the adventures of Ian (possibly Jan) Koutnik, described as a “hero of the Czech-Slovak troops.” Young Ian, loose in the city en route to be adopted in Chicago,  was arrested on suspicion of being a Bolshevik spy and stripped of his medals by authorities. Curiously enough, I can find no further information on this young lad either in The Times or through Google.

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Strongheart, Dog Sheik of the Movies

image
Aug. 2, 1925, Strongheart 
Aug. 2, 1925, Strongheart

Aug. 2, 1925, Strongheart, the dog sheik of the movies.

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The Underbelly of California

Richard Rayner, Book Festival Christina House / For The Times

Richard Rayner at the Festival of Books, 2009

If you have a good memory, you may recall a panel at last year’s Los Angeles Times Festival of Books on “The Underbelly of California,” moderated by Miles Corwin, with Richard Rayner, David Ward and me. I knew the session had been recorded but I’ve never been able to find the details until now. It’s on Audible and can be found here.

And here are recordings of the other sessions.

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Matt Weinstock, Feb. 9, 1960

Urge to Kill

Matt Weinstock     On his return from lunch a few days ago a doctor was told by his nurse that a man was waiting to see him.  "Send him in," he said.  The patient, a young man, had been drinking but was not drunk.  But he was badly disturbed.  "I've got to kill somebody," he said.

    The doctor, stalling until he could determine if the young man might become violent, said his job was to save people, not to help them destroy others.

    "I'm sick," the young man said, "I know it."

    The doctor said he should see a psychiatrist.  But he said as long as he was there he'd check him out.  He told him to go into an adjoining room and undress.  If he had a weapon, the doctor reasoned, he'd thus be disarmed.

    MEANWHILE, THE DOCTOR quietly phoned the sheriff's office, gave his name and address, and explained the circumstances.  "I'm sorry, you're about 100 yards out of our jurisdiction," was the reply.  "You'll have to call the police."

    He did and was asked, "Did he do anything?"  the doctor said no.  In that case, he was told, no action could be taken.  So the doc went through the formality of an examination and let the young man walk out.

    He has been watching the papers but so far the young man apparently hasn't done anything.

::

    A MAN WHO becomes exceedingly squirmy at TV commercials was delighted to receive recently as a gift from his daughter a device which, by pressing a button, cuts off the sound.  To paraphrase the cigarette pitchman, he has been watching more and hearing less.  But all is not serene.  His wife misses the commercials and now tries to read the announcers' lips as they speak.

::

    INDIVIDUALIST
A bearded young beatnik
    sits in a gutter,
Writes beatnikal poems
    perversely on butter-
His pen never slips through
    maybe it oughter.
    JOHN R. McCARTHY

::


    ANYONE ELSE
notice that yesterday was the third consecutive Monday it rained?  It's beginning to look like a conspiracy.  And  that the rock and roll radio stations are sneaking in a little real music?  No trend yet, merely a  hint that maybe one day junk music will disappear . . . Speaking of which, a news release from Slot Machine-ville begins, "To combat the trend of bare bosom productions along the famed Las Vegas Strip-"  Who's fighting?

::


    QUOTE & UNQUOTE —
A businessman moaned to a friend, "Even the people who have no intention of paying  have stopped buying!" . . . Overheard exchange in a  downtown building, one young man to another:  "I don't like a guy who has will power."  "Me neither" . . . A reluctant news photog assigned on the spur of the moment to cover the arrival of a Presidential hopeful remarked, "You know these jet planes are a menace — a candidate can come out here on his coffee break!"

::


    EVERY MORNING 
a woman goes to Echo Park and feeds a white goose, one of several which inhabit the north end of the lake.  Geese are notoriously unfriendly but this one responds to her call.  A year ago she found it with an injured wing, probably by  a rock thrown by a youngster.  She adopted it and helped it learn to swim.  They've been buddies since . . . Birdwatchingwise  (I had to get it out of my system), Cliff Jackson of Mission Hills confirms a situation which exists also in West L.A. — the failure of the cedar waxwings to appear for their annual January ritual, the violent stripping of the Pyracantha berries.  Only a few showed up and the berries remain.  Maybe the birds are all mixed up, too.

  
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Paul V. Coates – Confidential File, Feb. 9, 1960

 

A Gang-Shy Kid Has Me Stymied but Good

Paul Coates    On his way home from playing hooky a 15-year-old city boy named Tony stopped by my office yesterday.  He wanted to interview me, he said, for a paper he was doing at school on juvenile delinquency.

    To appreciate Tony's request fully you'd have to have seen him in person.  The kid looked like a gold-braid authority on the subject already.

    He had the sideburns, the slouch, the don't-give-a-damn swagger.

    He slumped into a chair in front of my desk, dragged professionally on a cigarette which he had brought along for company, and began our little chat by lying, "I'm doing this paper on delinquents for extra credit.  What do you think of them?"

    Before I answered he reached across my desk and lifted a pencil from in front of  me.  Then, apparently noting the confusion on my face, he explained:

    "I'll write down some of the things you say."

    We talked for half an hour but he didn't take a note because, after his first question, he ran out of things to ask.

    So to make the situation a little more bearable for both of us, I did the asking.

    Right away I learned that Tony's "essay" on delinquents was something he'd thought up on the spur of the moment.  I also learned that he was in the tenth grade of one of our city's more troubled schools, and that he'd been ditching since the middle of last week.

    "I'll get away with it," he said.  "I write my own notes saying I got the flu and sign my mother's name.  I'm a pretty good forger."

    There was nothing wrong with Tony's family background.  Nor did he have any particular objection to the work at school.  He got B's and C's, he said.  He had no police record.  In fact, he liked cops.

    "What bugs me,"  he continued, "is the gangs. I get weary of getting beat up."

    So we talked about gangs.  Off the top of his head he listed 11 that were active in his school.

    "I'll fair-fight anybody,"  he said.  "That way you either win or lose and that's it.  But about three-fourths of the guys in school are in gangs and you can't fair-fight them.

    "You deal to meet one guy after school and five or 10 show up.  Soon as the fight starts, they all jump you."

    I asked Tony why — especially against those kind of odds — he didn't steer clear of trouble.

    His reply was an incredulous stare.  "I don't like to fight," he said finally.  "I swear I don't.  I run.  A lot of times, I run.  I don't like bike chains in the mouth or half a dozen guys jumping on me.

    He pointed his borrowed pencil at me.  "You sound like my mother.  She says, 'You leave them alone.  They'll leave you alone.'

    "In some schools — like Hollywood and Marshall — that's the way it is.  I wish I could go there.  But in my school there are too many gangs.  If one doesn't get you, another one will.

    "You don't have to do nothing wrong.  They'll jump you anyway."

    I asked Tony why and he just shrugged.  "They do it to everybody."

    "Did you ever ask any of the kids in gangs why they do it?"  I said.

    Tony shook his head, almost meekly.  "You don't go saying things like that to them."

    The kid came out of his slouch, sitting erect for the first time.  "You know what I'd like.  I'd like to go to one of them schools — the kind you read about in magazines.  Where everybody knows everybody and they get along fine.  Everybody's the same.

    "Country schools, I guess they are," he added.  "Small towns.  Not big cities.  I bet they're nice."

    When somebody tells me that he doesn't look for trouble, that it looks for him, I'm the worst kind of skeptical listener.  but the more I talked to Tony about the jumping, about the fights around his school and about his and other "neutral" kids' attempts to avoid them (by taking the long way home or — like now — by ditching), the more I believed him.

    A Real Tough Question

    Apparently, in certain of our gang-infested city schools, even a "neutral" can't avoid an occasional bike chain across the face.

    "I won't join no gangs.  That's no protection.  They beat up each other, too."  Tony told me with frightening sincerity.  "But I don't want to lose an eye or get a knife stuck in me."

    "Then the kid asked:  "How do you keep it from happening"  If you were in my shoes, what would you do?"

    The question was an unfortunate one, because I couldn't give him an answer.  I don't know what I'd do.     
   

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A Kinder, Simpler Time Dept.: Your Movie Columnist

Feb. 9, 1947, Hedda Hopper
 Feb. 9, 1947, Hedda Hopper 

 

Feb. 9, 1947: Hedda Hopper says, “During his marriage days, I've seen Jack [Carson] wipe the grease paint off after a hard day's shooting and say, 'Well, now I've got to go home and put on $1,000 worth of entertainment to get the kids to sleep.' "

Posted in Columnists, Film, Hollywood | 1 Comment

Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ Premieres at the Sports Arena

 Feb. 9, 1980, Pink Floyd
Feb. 9, 1980, Pink Floyd 

Feb. 9, 1980: Robert Hilburn writes, “This production, which continues through Wednesday before moving to New York for its only other American staging, is more than just another night of rock 'n' roll. It's something the band's fans will long remember.'”

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Finch Describes Other Affairs

July 21, 1959, Bernard Finch
Photograph by John Malmin / Los Angeles Times

July 21, 1959: Dr. R. Bernard Finch at the West Covina police station after being arrested.

image
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial
Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Finch Trial

Feb. 9, 1960, Black History Week

Negro History Week is Feb. 7-13.

Feb. 9, 1960: In addition to exhaustive coverage of the Finch trial, The Times publishes a descriptive sidebar on the regulars in the audience.

Posted in #courts, Homicide | 1 Comment

A Bungalow Above Broadway

Feb. 9, 1920, Briggs

“Wonder What a Candidate for the Third Degree Thinks About?” by Clare Briggs. [Briggs is referring to the Masons, in case you’re wondering].

Feb. 9, 1920, Bungalow
 Feb. 9, 1920, Walter P. Story 

 

Feb. 9, 1920: Walter P. Story has built a bungalow on top of his building at 6th Street and Broadway. “Mr. Story's friends who were yesterday treated to a preview of his new 'aerial' home pronounce it a gem of architecture and a worthy setting for Arabian Nights entertainment, such as might be born in the fancy of the Grand Caliph himself,” The Times says … And lawyers in the Mazdaznan case get into a courtroom fistfight!

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Through the Lens – Aviation Meet

Jan. 12, 1910, Aviation Meet  
Los Angeles Times file photo

Jan. 12, 1910, Louis Paulhan sets an altitude record.

Jan. 12, 1910, Aviation Meet
Los Angeles Times file photo

Jan. 12, 1910: Many photos from the Aviation Meet show a balloon advertising the Los Angeles Examiner. Someone at The Times retouched this image to remove the competitor’s name.

Posted in Photography, Transportation | 1 Comment

Matt Weinstock, Feb. 8, 1960

Feb. 8, 1960, Peanuts Feb. 8, 1960, Peanuts

Economics and Justice

Matt Weinstock     Eunice Carlisle happened to be in the courthouse on another matter a few days ago when Dr. R. Bernard Finch told all and she was unavoidably caught in the crush and excitement.  She also was appalled by the violent eagerness of people waiting in line to see the show.

    Later she read of the tremendous cost of the long trial and a nagging idea gripped her.  Why not hold such spectacles in the Sports Arena and charge administration and use the proceeds to ease the burden on beleaguered taxpayers?

    After all, she reasoned  people pay high prices to see events not half as exciting or suspenseful.  Furthermore, this is the real thing, not the rehearsed, contrived courtroom drama one sees on television. In fact, TV could be another source of revenue.  A sponsor would pay a fortune for such a spectacle as the Finch trial.

    It may seem unorthodox for the city and the county to go into the entertainment business but, things being what they are, she sees it as a move toward economic sanity.

Feb. 8, 1960, Dragna     You think Eunice is kidding?  She is, but on the square.

::


    THAT FAVORITE
subject of old-time residents, missed real estate opportunities, came up again the other day and George Watkins, who used to sell papers at Pico Blvd. and Georgia St.  in 1920 and is now a retired Motor Vehicle Department employee, recalled his father's near miss.

    When they came here in 1918 his father bought the southwest corner of Slauson and Western for $2,200 as an investment.  Three months later his father's brother advised him to get rid of it.   It was too far out, he said, and besides L.A. would always be a tourist town.  So George's father unloaded it, taking a $100 loss.

    George, by the way, is buying a desert lot.

::

    PAYING HOBBIES
One is making mosaic,
Another molds a base for
    lamps.
Most of us find these
    prosaic-
Feb. 8, 1960, Chessman We're collecting grocery
    stamps.
    JOSEPH P. KRENGEL

::


    THE BIG
up-the-sleeve laugh in the television business continues to be the ridiculous insistence by the moguls on purity and honesty, to the point that even those who have committed no sin are getting guilt complexes.

    "Any day now," a TV performer remarked, "we expect to be told that announcers who are not wearing their own hair and models who have artificial support must say so."

::


    A LADY WHO
doesn't approve of undue tampering with the language was distressed to find an ad for a  Hyperion Ave. market offering "4-legged fryers 49c lb."  She knew, of course, that no such freakishness was intended, that each fryer had its own two legs and two extra legs were included for customers who liked dark meat.  Nevertheless, she felt the word "legged" implied that all four were attached and this bothered her.  She phoned the public library and her opinion was supported.  So she called the butcher at the store and informed him that the ad was maligning his fryers.

    He said he had nothing to do with it but she noticed that the following week the ad still offered 4-legged fryers but in small print were the words "cut up."

::


    ASKED TO NAME
the continents on a geography test, Pamela Spain, 9, of Sepulveda, wrote North America, South America, Asia and the rest — but also "Los Angeles."  And you know what?  The teacher marked it wrong.

::


    AT RANDOM —
Fascinating fragment of conversation, one man to another, overheard by a  lady named Rosemary in the state museum in Exposition Park:  "That skirt fits like  a sweater!" . . . The way J.V. Ryan hears it, the monsoon in Rangoon is much worse in the afternoon.  My information is that this is true only when observed from the noon balloon to Rangoon . . . Inquiry by Fred Fox:  What do Hawaiians say now that this country is no longer "stateside?"  Let's call ourselves mainlanders.

Posted in Caryl Chessman, Columnists, Comics, Matt Weinstock | Comments Off on Matt Weinstock, Feb. 8, 1960