“Hello? Anybody There?”

A Courageous Move

    Along with spring, a sign has appeared in the Brentwood Country Mart, out in bosky del country, stating firmly, "Men Must Wear Shirts."  It is the first voice of protest in a growing informality that has threatened to wipe out the last vestiges of modesty.  Good taste has long since gone out the front door.

    What the people who posted it obviously mean is that a shirtless man in public is not the most appetizing or inspiring sight in the world, no matter what he may think.

    Doubtless it was the result of complaints from the hamburger munchers and malt and coffee gulpers.  Nevertheless, it took courage to put it up.

    It would take even more courage to post a sign stating, "Ladies, are you sure you're the type to wear capris?"  Naw, that's too much to expect.

    A BUSINESSMAN who with his wife recently returned from Europe was remarking at a weekend party about the excessive cost of the trip.  A tax conscious friend said, "Well, why don't you write off part of it by reporting that your wife was your secretary?"

     "It's strange that you should say that," the returned traveler said.  "I know a man who did just that and the internal revenue people called in his wife and tested her to see if she knew shorthand.  She didn't and he not only had to pay but the embarrassment almost cost him his job."

    NOTE ON COFFEE
With prices going up
To fifteen cents a cup,
    It isn't any joke.
Make no mistake,
The coffee break
    Will soon be coffee broke.
        RICHARD ARMOUR

    THERE'S AN eerie and exciting episode in "On The Beach" in which Gregory Peck's submarine, roaming the Pacific coastline, keeps getting an unaccountable radio signal from somewhere in Southern California, giving the crew hope that someone may be alive in the atomic-bomb destroyed continent.  As suspense mounted during the showing of the episode the other night in a theater here, someone in the audience said, loud and clear, "It's probably Caryl Chessman."  Broke the tension.

    LET US CALMLY consider Martin Ragaway's dynamic suggestion for expediting 5:30 p.m. traffic on dense Sunset Blvd.  He thinks the right kind of sign confronting westbound motorists at La Brea would do it.  The sign would state, "Not A Through Street."

    BEDLAM BROKE loose at the Westwood Blue Print Co. when a girl in the billing department saw a wiggling mouse tail protruding from a calculator.  She excitedly pressed a button, possibly the panic button, and later a maintenance man removed a very dead rodent.  In the view of Doris Day, who works there, the mouse which chose this hiding place was taking a calculated risk.

    A SILLY STORY circulating in Hollywood indicates the plethora of TV private eye dramas may be proving too much for people.

    There's this secret agent who chases this international spy to the top of the Statue of Liberty, see.  The spy frantically climbs out through one of Miss Liberty's eyes onto one of the spikes of her crown.  He is hanging there in space, his fingers growing weaker, as his pursuer gets to him.  At the last moment the agent grabs his arm but the spy's coat tears away and he falls to his death.  The secret agent, left holding the sleeve, murmurs in frustration, "That's these cheap suits for you!"

    MISCELLANY- On a  note of despair:  The S & H cleaners on Saticoy Ave. in Reseda gives Blue Chip stamps . . . Sudden thought:  Another  thing wrong with the Dominican Republic, in addition to Trujillo, is that both words must be used to describe it.  Dominican alone isn't a proper noun.  In a recent TV analysis of the island it was referred to by it's former name, Santo Domingo.