Matt Weinstock — July 22, 1959

Enforcing the Law

Matt Weinstock Let us
re-examine the premise, frequently developed here, that many mounted
policemen seem to have been trained to the principle that the most
important phase of traffic enforcement is writing the citation rather
than guiding erring motorists in the path of righteousness.

A
man was nudged to the side in the southwest section by an officer who
said he'd gone through a red light. The driver said he was certain he'd
made it on the yellow. Everyone knows who wins that one.

AS THE OFFICER
stood writing the ticket a flash came over the police radio that a
nearby bank was being held up. The officer admonished the driver to
follow him to the address. When he was through there, he said, he would
finish the ticket.

As the officer took off there was great soul
searching between the motorist and his wife. "Don't go," she said. He
said he felt he should, even though he didn't think he'd run the red
light. "Maybe there'll be shooting," his wife said. "He has no right to
endanger our lives." The husband said they'd have to take a chance —
the law was the law. So they went.

Nervously they approached the
bank. But there was no shooting. It turned out to be a false alarm. And
the motorist held still while the officer completed the ticket.

::

A MAN WHO
was unwillingly retired recently at 65 sums up his case — and
doubtlessly that of many others — this way: "If only I could find
something to do after breakfast, when I used to leave for work. That's
the worst time of day."

::

ESPECIALLY PURPLE
I've never seen a UFO
I guess I'll never see one —
I've never seen a Pluto-ite
But I'd rather see
    than be one.
    — TERRI McDANIEL

::

SHARKS,
real or fancied, are getting the headlines this summer but Bob Lee
contends there's a greater menace. While standing hip-deep in the surf
at Newport he was twice bowled over by unseen objects that proved to be
body surfers (no surfboards) coming in with the breakers. So, bruised
shins . . .Speaking of menaces, a fireman on the phone says morbidly
curious people wouldn't flock to fires if radio and TV announcers
didn't give the exact locations. He suggests they name only the general
area . . . Another man says the way to discourage them is for firemen
to turn their hoses on them.

::

THE WHERE
Do We Go From Here Society will come to order. Remember way back before
anyone heard of status seekers, when the common goal was simply a
chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage? Now it seems to be a
pool in every yard. What next? Otilia Martin thinks it'll be a helicopter on every roof.

::

SOMETIMES all the futility of existence is compressed into a single outraged fragment.

A
youth turned away from a bar as obviously underage was overheard by
Maurice Ogden saying in agonized reply to a companion's suggestion,
"But the place I work won't let me grow a beard, man!"

::

OOPS,
John Cornell picked up a youth fellowship manual in a church and in the
back flyleaf discovered the following penciled evidence that two young
ladies hadn't been paying strict attention to the class discussion:
"Look at Betty's sexy sweater! Pretty cute, eh?" "And how!"

::

MISCELLANY — Re:
movie cliches, Al O'Hara says let us not forget the bit of silliness
wherein someone receives a threat over the phone and frantically
jiggles the hook and shouts, "Hello! Hello! Hello!" when the caller
hangs up. Everyone knows when the connection is broken there's nobody
there but us dial tones . . . Recommended listening: Pearl Bailey
singing "You Can Be Replaced" on her "For Adults Only" album, also
presumably at the Grove . . . Overheard by Frank Barron: "Look at it
this way — every cloud has its fall-out!"

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About lmharnisch

I am retired from the Los Angeles Times
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