Only in L.A.

A well-known
figure in the music world was dining with a woman in a restaurant the
other night when his brother walked in. The music man turned the other
way and shielded his companion so they wouldn't be seen.

Next day the brother phoned him and asked what the idea was.

The music man said, "I didn't want anyone to see the girl I was with."

"Look, we're brothers!" was the retort. "You don't nave to hide anything from me!"

"I know," the music man said, "but I just didn't want to be seen with her. It was my ex-wife."

::

AN ENGINEER
with a firm doing secret work on missiles got a shock the other day.
His daughter, a third grader, interviewed him recently for a school
assignment. When she let him read her appear he was appalled to
discover that she'd added some of her own fantastic ideas to the meager
information he'd given her and reached conclusions that were highly
classified.

::

A LADY WHO came
down with a severe and stubborn ailment and had to go to a hospital has
recovered from the illness but not quite from her doctor's diagnosis.

This
is a rare treat," he said in delight. "You have not only one but two
types of disease. We seldom get to see it except in autopsies."

::

WHOA-CABULARY

"Fabulous" at last is being tabled —
But whoa for us — who likes "fabled"?

-TED GORDON

::

THE PSYCHIC phenomena department is buzzing today.

During the night the electricity went off briefly in Carl Logan's home in Playa del
Rey, and the next morning he had to reset the electric clock. When he
got into his car he found that the electric clock there had also
stopped at exactly the same time as the house clock.

And when Merwin Gerard of the ABC-TV program "Alcoa Presents," which deals with the unexplainable, appeared on KFI to talk about his show, his voice was heard coming over the music by KFAC listeners.

::

LITERARY NOTES — In 1945 Joseph Hudock
wrote a CBS radio "Suspense" script titled "Spoils for Victor."
Producer Bill Robson used it again recently but now can't find the
author to pay him for the rerun. That's the way things go. Most
Hollywood writers are scrambling to see their scripts and here's one
who made a sale but hasn't collected. Go get the dough Joe…

::

THE CAPRICIOUS customer
is always with us. A lady named Maxine at Title Insurance received a
phone call from a customer who said he'd drive in and sign a pending
deed if the company would pay for the gas.

Then there was a
note an internal revenue office received with a blank tax return. "You
were notified several times that I have been dead for four years," it
stated. "Please send no more of these blanks."

::

PACIFIC OCEAN
Park is off to a rousing season and among the new features is an ocean
boat ride, accompanied by the cheery comments of the captain at the
wheel. As the boat headed away from the pier the other night he greeted
his passengers warmly and asked if there were any questions — just as
a medium-sized swell caught the boat sideways. "Yes," a nervous lady
said, "when do we go back?"

::

AT RANDOM
— Beginning June 15 the Beverly Hills YWCA is beginning classes in
golf, to get the ladies up and around and maybe a little excited, and
yoga (the exercise, not the philosophy) to relax them. Some are taking
both … Lady named Lucy reports that when Bess Truman had her
operation she positively heard Fulton Lewis say that the growth was not
"malicious" … Seeing the double feature, "Gigi" and "Gidget," Olive Knitt could not help wishing Gogi Grant and Google Withers had gotten into the act.