Big Car Man

Driving through isolated beanfield country on the way home the other day, Dave Hall, staff artist who lives in Corona del Mar, came upon a Cadillac on the side of the road and, farther along, a man walking.

Car and hiker told a story that needed no explanation. His machine had run out of gas.

Dave
stopped, picked him up and drove him about three miles to a gas
station. He procured a gallon can of gas and Dave drove him back to his
thirsty Cadillac.

He was grateful, but as he got out of Dave's car, a tiny English Sprite, he said thoughtlessly, "It's better than walking!"

ELECTION NOTES —
It became so lonesome in one outlying precinct yesterday an election
board lady remarked, "You'd think we didn't use the right deodorant or
something" … But you have to say one thing for the council
candidates, M.B. Downs muses, at least none of them came out against
the nation's foreign policy.

SECRET OF SUCCESS —
During a coffee break a group of municipal employees were trying to
analyze the unaccountable rise of a former colleague to an eminent,
well-paying position. They couldn't figure it. He was an ordinary
fellow, they agreed, and, worse, pompous. Amid the disparagement one
said, "Hey, I think I've got it! Remember, he never left the office
without carrying his briefcase!"

STATION BREAK

JUNE ROSS DRUMMOND

IT CERTAINLY is
spring. A man who comes to work at 5 a.m. in a downtown building noted
that the all-night elevator operator was reading an article titled,
"When Is the Best Time to Make Love?" … And RalphPortnor overheard a
young couple in this exchange: "But, honey, we can't afford to get
married on a shoestring." "Well, at least we could tie the knot" …
However, a waitress named Margaret in a Logan Street steakhouse, when
asked if she were single, replied, cryptically, "I'm not single and I'm
not married either."

A PAIR
of valley quail, down from the hills, came marching majestically
through the yard two weeks ago and again about a week ago. And then
Monday when they came again they were frightened by something and one
flew against a patio window and broke its neck. And for a long time its
mate stood nearby mournfully calling to it–a sad business to any bird
watcher. This also is spring.

A SPY REPORTS
that on the fly leaf of "Muscatel at Noon" (a book I once wrote, now
out of print) in the North Hollywood Public Library (catalogue No. 818
W424) there is the imprint of a lipstick kiss. I am sure this is
because I always say nice things about girls.

TRAFFIC NOTES — The CHP
wants people to know that although 65 was legalized, the speed limit
for vehicles towing trailers is 45 … A University of Michigan survey
reveals that 82% of drivers involved auto accidents blamed the other
driver. The other 18% presumably sustained broken jaws in the crashes.

AT RANDOM — Another TV phrase recommended for oblivion: "Like I told you." Nothing wrong with, "As I said before" … While in El Paso, Marcia Lander made a side trip to Chihuahua, Mexico, to buy one of those leedle pooches. Nope, no Chihuahuas in Chihuahua — She was told they're all in the United States … Estelle Kalbfus' thought for today: To be human should be considered a privilege, not an excuse … Stan Wood's simile: As busy as a U.S. flag maker. (Who herewith replaces the one-armed paperhanger).