New Twist on Smog

Along with the rest of us, W. B. France is weary of reading about smog. But he thinks he has a solution.

It is based on a science-fiction story he read long ago. In this tale a
huge spaceship, one of ours, spent 200 years traveling around the
galaxies.

At the end of this time the spaceship headed home. As it neared earth
its homesick occupants were met by small planes and warned against
landing. The earth’s atmosphere had so changed, they were told, it
would be fatal for anyone not accustomed to it.

KEEPING THIS TALE in mind, clearly the thing for earthbounders
to do is get accustomed to smog, even encourage it. In time it would
become our natural atmosphere and we would learn to thrive in it.

And think of the advantages. We would save the millions of dollars now
being spent to combat it. It would repulse an enemy, even the little
green men from up there who might try to invade us. Most of all, it
would eliminate the constant babble about smog so we could concentrate
on crime, scandal and other wholesome topics so dear to us all.

SOMETHING has been missing since the City Hall tower
courts moved to the new courthouse and reporter John Hunt has realized
what it is. The intense threesomes — two women and a man — who used
to grace the rotunda each morning, are gone.

The man was a lawyer. One woman wore a brave smile. The other, her best
friend, mother or sister, had a look of "Wait until I get on the
witness stand and tell what I know about that guy!" They were having a
final rehearsal before going up to the separation center.

CURRENT EVENTS
My youngster’s conscious of the news,
He knows his rights and states his views.
When naughty he is independent
And calmly takes the Fifth Amendment.
— PEARL ROWE

A WORKMAN on the graveyard shift in a harbor industrial
plant recently reported excitedly to his pals that an amphibian plane
had pancaked in near Berth 190. He didn’t know, as they did, that it
had crashed off Catalina some time ago and been hauled to the berth
awaiting further plans by its owners.

The next time he looked
the plane was gone and he learned it had been trucked to a salvage firm
on S Alameda Street. By this time he knew of his original
miscalculation and remarked wryly to his cronies. "It must have set
some kind of record, flying from Catalina to Compton without wings or
tail."

IT IS NOT uncommon for new MTA
drivers on the Sunset Boulevard line to Pacific Palisades to lose their
way but one eastbound bus the other day went completely off orbit.

The
driver, as if impelled by an unseen force, turned onto the San Diego
Freeway on-ramp instead of staying on Sunset. He knew immediately from
the buzzing of the passengers that he had goofed and as soon as
possible he swung off the freeway, circled back to Sunset and, reports
Mary Kay Post, secretary to the dean of women, got students to UCLA in
time for 8 a.m. classes.

AROUND TOWN —
Printed sticker on a car with a Tenn. license on Olympic Boulevard: "A
big welcome to Alaska from little old Texas" . . . Ernie Maxwell
reports fromIdyllwild that it’s a big year for snow women — Marilyn Monroe prototypes.