CONFIDENTIAL FILE

Mash Notes and Comments

(Press Release) "There is a rangy, talkative sprite whose fantastically
photogenic face has graced some 60 magazine covers. She has earned a
fortune in fashion modeling, a career she all but shunted two years ago
to become a movie star.

"She is, of course, Suzy Parker.

"Miss Parker is, by her own admission in the new issue of Esquire
magazine, ‘a modern girl in search of her soul. This soul-searching has
taken her to New York, Paris and Hollywood, to the ski slopes of
Switzerland and the old churches of Spain . . .’" (signed) Publicity
Dept., Esquire magazine, New York City.

— Has she checked under the bureau? That’s where I always find everything.

(Press Release) "ABC-TV’s peptic Chef Milani, who has been
regularly slaughtering the language on his daily cooking show, must,
according to his new contract, register for English courses at
UCLA."(signed) MurrayWeissman, Public Relations, L.A.

— Atsa too bad.

"Dear Paul:

"Once I knew an old man in Mexico who lived for 98 years, took a siesta
every day and never earned more than $500 in all of his life.

"He was a happy old guy, but he made one mistake.

"He helped his great-great-grandson dig an outhouse and he dropped dead in the hole.

"Nobody gets more tired than the individuals trying to win the stupid, dollar-inspired rat race going on in this country.

"They’re standing in line waiting to drop dead chasing the lousy dollar, which they value more than springtime.

"Why don’t you get an example, take a vacation, go out and get drunk
and raise hell in general?" (signed) Juan Gonzales, 1330 W 4th Street, L.A.

— What? And lose my place in line?

(Press Release) "KMPC’s Dick Whittinghill came up with a gem of a suggestion to parents on his early ayem deejay show today.

"He told his sidekick, engineer Hal Bender, he had discovered a way to
overcome his oldest daughter’s habit of sucking her thumb.

"Said Whit, ‘We nail it to her high chair.’" (signed) John Dickson, Director of Publicity, KMPC, Hollywood.

— I hope he said it very early in the ayem.

"Dear Paul:

"Our client, comedienne Harriette Tarler, has dyed her flaming red hair black.

"Some of her friends told her she won’t be as funny with the dark tresses.

"She is undecided now what to do about her hair and she has asked us to get your opinion, which she respects.

"Do you think dark-headed comediennes are funnier than red-headed ones?" (signed) Dodge, Heigh & Associates, Public Relations, Beverly Hills

— Personally I think bald-headed comediennes are a kick.