Firing-Squad Mood

A jobless newspaperman subsisting on his unemployment insurance writes:

"My
weekly seance with the female martinet who holds my fate in her hands
reminds me of what I have read of the upheaval in Cuba.

"This
hardened slave of bureaucracy seems to think the money is hers and that
I am a former associate of John Dillinger trying to defraud the noble
state of California. I have been puzzled by the violence that comes
with a revolution, specifically the summary executions in Cuba, but I
am beginning to understand."

ONLY IN HOLLYWOOD —
Iris Bender drove into the parking lot of that well known-drugstore at
Sunset and Laurel Canyon boulevards — well known for its casual
atmosphere — only to find things veryhelter-skelter . Sports cars were
parked irregularly, blocking other cars, and things were generally in a
mess. While waiting for traffic to clear she said to her companion, "I
think these actors have muffled their lanes."

AS HIS READERS know,
Hal Humphrey frequently assails the ratings systems by which TV
programs are judged — and, more often than not, canceled. When his
wife learned the Fund for the Republic, after a seven months survey,
had named Hal eighth among the nations top 10 critics, she said, "I see
the ratings finally caught up with you."

SEVERAL EMPLOYEES in
a plant in San Fernando Valley are former musicians and they’ve
indoctrinated the place with hip talk. Not long ago one of them went
east on a trip and ran out of money. He wired his boss, "Like I’m hung
up, man."

POSTHUMOUS NOTE — Edward Eugene Nutt was killed in WW 2 and is buried in the National Cemetery in Manila. His sister, Agnes Cupps,
of Hollywood, has always wished to see his grave, and last September,
when a friend came through L.A. in route to the Philippines, she asked
him to take a picture of it.

The friend did, but in locating
the grave he was at first misdirected. As a result, he also brought her
a photo of the clearly marked grave of another Californian, S/Sgt.
Arthur M.Nutt, 27th Infantry, 25th Division, killed March 8, 1945. If his relatives are in the audience she would like to give it to them. 

ONLY IN L.A. — A sign above the drinking fountain on the 5th floor of the state-leased office building on 9th
and Broadway states, "When you turn water on by hand it must also be
turned off manually." Someone, perhaps a gal who wants no part of man,
has crossed out "manually" and written in "by hand" . . . Everyone
knows about baby sitters but do they know about baby walkers? Rob Lee
was waiting for the confusing signal sequence at Glendale Boulevard and
Glenhurst Avenue to change in his favor when a girl asked. "Will you walk me across?" A switch on the Boy Scout and old lad bit.

SOMETIMES a person just can’t escape the feeling that things are topsy-turvy.
For instance, a hypochondriac I know has gone on a strict diet, which
includes climbing on the wagon, no easy chore for him, literally and
figuratively. Asked why, he replies, "I’m in training to see my
doctor."

AT RANDOM — Gov. Braulio Maldonado’s statement yesterday blaming Las Vegas gamblers for the Rosarito
Beach gambling roust confirmed what the wise boys here have been saying
for a week . . . Jim McNamara, who was there, whispers that the band
played the "Dragnet" theme incha cha cha beat at the graduation of
rookie policemen at the Police Academy . . . In a recent letter, George
Moss needled his brother, who lives in the Texas Panhandle, about
Alaska. His brother replied, "Tell you what. We’ll give the government
five years to fix it up and then if we like it we’ll buy it."