Squirrely Linguist

Nobody’s going to believe this but I find I can speak squirrel language.

For months a wild squirrel with a beautiful brown coat has been
visiting the back yard, swinging from branch to branch of the
eucalyptus trees, nibbling at the buds and scrounging on the ground.
When I came close it would scamper up a tree.

The other day as it was perched on the fence I approached slowly,
making a cricket-like noise with my tongue, the one I use on the
parakeet, which answers back.

Well, darned if old Sciuridae didn’t answer me, too, then came
over, stood on its hind legs like a dog and examined my outstretched
hand to see if I had anything to eat. I didn’t but it waited while I
went in the house and got it someunshelled nuts, which it ate.

Prefers almonds and hazelnuts to Brazil nuts, by the way.

DURING AN extremely busy spell at the Manhattan Beach police station in which Sgt. Bob Heathcliff
was handling an assault case and booking a drunk, a woman phoned and
asked sweetly, "Can you tell me where the yo-yo contest is being held?"

Did Robert tear his hair? Did he jerk the phone out by the roots? No,
ma’am, he said he didn’t know, took her number, found out and later
called her back.

How do I know? The man being booked for inebriation told me.

GNAWING THOUGHTS
The wheels of progress creak and groan,
Ofttimes the tires are flat;
Some, contentious, chew the bone,
While others chew the fat.
– G.L. ERTZ

IT TURNS OUT that quite a few people create mental images of the
backs of cars, fancying them as owls, pagodas, lighthouses, manta rays,
rockets, big-eared rabbits and in the case of some 1959 models, a
satiric smile.

This is an obvious avocation, of course, for Southland motorists, who spend so much time looking at the car ahead.
Anyway, Dr. Frank Baxter of SC has been haunted by the back of Volkswagens. Reading Thor Heyerdahl’s "Aku-Aku" the other night, the message came through. They resemble the great stone faces on Easter Island. Look for yourself.

TRAFFIC DETAIL– Betcha
not half the motorists know it’s against the law to drive with parking
lights on — Section 618.5 of the vehicle code. The LAPD doesn’t
enforce it but a local man got a ticket upstate for the offense . . .
Another motorist is angry at the parking meters onHilgard Avenue at
UCLA. At a glance they seem to state five hours for $.05. He put in two
nickels but had a ticket when he returned to his car. It’s $.05 for
each hour with a five-hour limit. He calls them "Las Vegas meters" . .
. And while others complain of too much enforcement, an insurance man
says there isn’t enough. His car was hopelessly wedged in by a car
parked in the red zone near 8th and Alvarado. When he called a passing
policeman’s attention to his plight the officer said, "You really have
a problem" and went on.

ENVIRONMENT
is everything, some sociologists say. Which may explain this printed
note an astonished Bel-Air resident found in his mailbox:
"Exceptionally clean cut young man . . . who is now preparing the
greatest film phenomenon ever . . . desires to live in serene
surroundings, guest house or other accommodations on beautiful estate.
Your consideration is gratefully appreciated." He didn’t find a home
there.