Money Well Spent

"We’re in a fight for survival," Ernest K. Lindley, the tall,
thin, wry chief of Newsweek’s Washington bureau, told a gathering at
the Press Club. "Unless we get the free world on its feet with large
infusions of capital and overhaul our educational system Russia could
beat us within the lifetime of the people in this room."

"I’m a taxpayer, too," he went on, "but after traveling around the
world I feel that foreign aid is the best money we spend to hold off
communism." He doesn’t think we spend enough.

Lindley, here to accept an honorary membership in UCLA’s Kappa Tau
Alpha journalism society from his former schoolmate at Oxford, Prof.
Joseph A. Brandt, said of a recent visit to Russia.

"THE TERROR is gone but the indoctrination program has taken its
place. It is now implanted indelibly in the Russian people’s minds that
capitalism is the villain responsible for all things bad."

Meanwhile, the Russian leaders are doing a pressure selling job of their own bill of goods.

Lindley came away from the satellite countries feeling very sad. "There
the people know better but they can’t do anything about it. The lesson
of the Hungarian revolt keeps them subdued."

He related a story he heard in a satellite country. A group of boys was
being inducted into the Young Pioneers. In a kind of incantation each
boy was asked, "Who is your mother?" "The Communist Party," he was
supposed to reply, "Who is your father?" "Nikita Khrushchev." "What do
you want to be when you grow up?" "A scientist." To the last question
one boy replied, "An orphan."

FOR SOME obscure reason Guilio Amfuso’s car went dead in Westwood Villiage. After getting it pushed to a service station he phoned MTA and asked how he could get to Burbank by bus. He is an assistant TV story editor at Warner Bros.

The girl consulted schedules for 10 minutes, occasionally checking in
with a discouraging comment, and finally outlined a frighteningly safe-
potentially a three-hour trip. "My advice," she said, "is to buy
another car."

SITE UNSEEN
In ’60, we feel we must mention
With just a wee touch of gloom.
The Democrats met in convention,
Will plot in a smog-filled room.
– RICHARD ARMOUR

WHILE DRIVING up to Vandenberg AFB Wednesday for the launching of the satellite Discoverer, which was postponed, Jim McNamara of KLAC
came to a turnoff near the base with a sign he thought stated "Old
Missile Road." He followed it a couple of miles, saw it lead nowhere
and turned back. When he saw the sign again — "Old Mission Road."

OUT AT Northrop they’re telling of the first earth expedition to reach the moon.

The
earth men were exploring a crater when suddenly they were surrounded by
hundreds of small furry creatures, bouncing about andwheempting happily. 

"Where is your leader?" the boss earth man asked. After much whoofling and whampling,
one little Furry pointed to a cave. There the earth men found a Furry
on a stone throne. He was much larger than the others and had a
hypodermic needle sticking in his head.

"Are you the leader of the Furrys?" the boss earth man asked.

"Oh no, sir," was the reply, "I’m the Furry with the syringe on top."

Okay, fellows, back to work.

AT RANDOM – Dennis Affleck,
7, of Manhattan Beach, saw a picture of Saturn at school and when he
got home he exclaimed, "Mommy, I saw a planet with a Hula Hoop around
it" . . . Add ads that don’t seem to mean what they state: From another
paper: "Beaut,Ine. married epl. After 12 p.m." (It was under apartments for rent.) And another ahemmer from a North Side paper: "1 rm. apt. for rent in exchange for night companionship"