Cagey Mr. Mikoyan

Now that Anastas Mikoyan has returned whence he came, a lady named Natasha Smith would like a few unkind words.

She was born and reared in Russia and barely escaped with her life
during the revolution. She speaks and understands the language.

She watched TV interviews in which Mikoyan answered questions through
an interpreter. She knew what he and the interpreter said. She found
Mikoyan very sharp and admired his sense of humor.

She is certain, however, that Mikoyan understands some English and used
the time taken to translate to figure out his answers, usually evasive
or retaliatory.

The reason she is sure of this is that she caught him a couple of times answering questions before they had been fully asked.

ANOTHER REPORT on playfulness in Beverly Hills party giving comes from a publicist John Strauss.

A young man invited to a late gathering arrived with a new girlfriend
around 9 p.m. and found the house dark. He rang again and again and
finally a light went on and the man who invited him opened the door. He
was in his pajamas and obviously had been awakened from a sound sleep.

The embarrassed caller timidly asked about the party.

"Is that tonight?" the host asked, yawning.

"I’m sorry," the caller said. "We’ll come back another time."

"No, no," the host insisted, rubbing his eyes, "come in. It’s all right. Glad to see you."

As they entered, the wife appeared in a nightgown and negligee and
asked sleepily who it was. By this time the caller and his girlfriend
wished they could fade into the woodwork.

Then the host broke out laughing, turned out the lights and let the
couple watch as the same gag was worked on the other guests as they
arrived.

LIFE GOES ON
Our parakeet spoke many a word
But he couldn’t master "Scat!"
We rather miss the little bird,
But still, we have our cat.
– GUY MULLEN

ONLY IN Holmby Hills — Pupils at Warner Avenue School
were asked recently to bring canned goods for the less fortunate
children in another section of the city, specifically meat, fish, fruit
and vegetables. The notice alerting parents to the drive had the
admonition, "Not needed — hearts of artichoke, green turtle soup, pate
de Foie gras, smoked oysters, etc."

QUOTE & UNQUOTE — Nice line by S. J. Perelman in the New Yorker: "I rewarded him with a smile, negotiable at any frozen food locker" . . . Ray Southworth deplores radio news "in a nutshell." He says, "Personally I’d like less shell and more nut" . . . Martin Ragaway’s thought for today: "We should live our lives in such a way that when the time comes we won’t embarrass Ralph Edwards."

AN AWFUL LOT
of people are brooding about TV commercials. Seymour Mandel is
disquieted over the manually operated push-button toothpaste cans.
Surely in this missile age, he says, scientists can do better than
that. He has in mind a remote control gadget that would electronically
press the push button from bed so the toothbrush would be loaded and ready to go when a person entered the bathroom. 

AROUND TOWN — It did not escape Frank R. L’Heureux or Pauline K. Aoki that Paul E. Wustrack, 40, sentenced to 90 days in jail for grand theft, lived on Shady Grove Street in Tujunga
. . . A luxury motel in Ontario states in a brochure that its honeymoon
suite is "discreetly secluded" and reservations are confidential . . .
Over at the Division of Highways they’re telling of a fellow who was
stopped at 1st and Broadway by a policeman for crossing against the red
light. He pointed to the words "Walk Wisely" stenciled on the pavement
and explained his name was Wisely. I don’t believe it either.