Life in Beverly Hills

During a lavish party in a Beverly Hills home the host guided a group of guests to a huge shelfful of glassware in the trophy room.

"Of course you know about Bruges glass," he said proudly. "It’s unbreakable. Here, I’ll show you." He tipped a glass off the shelf. It shattered into fragments.

"That can’t be!" he exclaimed.

He tipped another and it too crashed. He shook his head in utter bafflement and tipped another. Crash.

"I can’t understand it!" he shouted hoarsely, "These glasses have been
in the family for generations! We’ve been the victims of a hoax!"

IN A FRENZY he swept them off the shelf half a dozen at a time.
The guests cowered. His wife, hearing the noise, rushed in and
screamed, "Don’t! Don’t! Stop! Stop!"

He shouted fiercely, "Stay away from me!" and kept breaking glasses.

It was an embarrassing scene and the guests began looking at each other as if it were time to leave.

If they haven’t learned it by now, this will inform them that it was a gag perpetrated by the host and his wife.

They have some valuable glassware but the glasses he broke were cheap facsimiles. Gosh, don’t people have fun in Beverly Hills?

AS A PUBLIC service I herewith nominate for oblivion two
questions Hollywood correspondents inevitably put to visitors from
foreign countries.

At first, addressed to women, is, "What do you think of American men?"

The second, addressed to men, is, "What do you think of American women?"

If they didn’t ask these silly questions they wouldn’t get those silly answers.

FIGHTING WORDS

Jehosaphat!
Is that a hat?
– JOSEPH P. KRENGEL

QUOTE & UNQUOTE — Wendy Gaster, 3, hearing a siren, said
solemnly to her mother, "That ambulance is crying because somebody got
hurt" . . . A downtown office worker who was late getting back from
lunch explained to his boss, "I was unavoidably detained by an
inadvertent Martini" . . . A man in traffic court went into great
detail to explain why he shouldn’t have received a citation. "You have overproved your case," the judge said, "$5 fine."

ONLY IN L.A. — Seymour Glider, a typesetter who works nights near 4th
and Main streets, parks his car nearby. It is regularly ransacked. He
doesn’t lock it, having learned the scavengers will jam the door
handles trying to get in or even break a window. One night he left this
note in the car: "Mr. Thief: There are no valuables here. You can
search from now to doomsday. Please put all the junk and papers back in
place. Thank you." To his surprise the thief, apparently the same
fellow, returned some tools and other stuff previously stolen.

CURIOUS how things go. Irving Stone wrote a book about Vincent van Gogh
titled "Lust for Life" from which a movie was made. It helped revive
interest in Vince and his paintings were assembled in a collection and
exhibited — for the last few weeks at the County Museum. Which stirred
so much new interest the movie is now being revived.

AT RANDOM — Last
November, H. G. Davidson of Glendale ordered a tie from Scotland for
his brother Julian. Christmas came. No tie. So he gave his brother a
"Tie-owe-you." It arrived last week . . . Scores of L.A.photogs are
filling out forms for jobs checking official photos taken at Cape
Canaveral. The official name of the job is Photographic Control
Analyst. Whee! . . . A reader says he has felt for a long time that
something was missing from his life and the other day he realized what
it was — a Don’t Spit on the Sidewalk Week . . . A city school nurse,
in critical condition after major surgery, received aid from an
unexpected source. The PTA has authorized use of 10 pints of blood for
her, a nice thing.