 IT WILL BE, as usual, fabulous, only more so. Most spectacular new feature will be a new concept of the grille, which will sweep back over the hood and is considered a worthy successor to this year’s toothy crocodilian smash hit (replacement $804.22).Plans are taking shape, he adds, for a victory banquet at which the Flatulente Four Fifty will be introduced. There will be a 300-ft. mock-up car behind which a 300-ft. purple banner will wave, gently wafted by a
concealed fan exuding scented odors. The banner will bear the slogan “Sweeter than all the roses.”
“Had enough” the Detroit wheezer concluded mysteriously.
* *
THE WAY Marshall King of KNX tells it, a man from the year 2000 landed on earth and got to chatting with a 1959 guy.
“Are you really from the year 2000?” the present-day fellow asked. Mr. 2000 assured him he was.
“Well, we’re about to send a rocket to the moon — tell me, how will we make it out?”
“Moon? What moon?”
* *
NO LAUGHING MATTER According to a Yale lecture, the explanation of the smile on the face of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa is that she is pregnant — News item.
This woman for years they’ve been studying
Mysterious, saintly
At last we know why she’s smiling
So faintly
– RICHARD ARMOUR
* *
 OVER THE holidays Judith Endler, a sophomore at Mount St. Marys, worked as a gift wrapper in a big store.
One day, in fun, a fellow worker snatched her handbag, sealed it loosely in a carton and placed it on the conveyor belt. As he hadn’t addressed it he expected it to be returned, whereupon he intended to chide her for poor wrapping. But it wasn’t returned, in spite of a store-wide search,
and the joker was sadly embarrassed.
It turned out that a baffled homemaker on McLaughlin Ave. received an unordered C.O.D. package and without going into the interminable details Judith wants the joker, whom she can’t locate, to know that she has regained her handbag and sense of humor.
* *
THIS IS TO report that Erie Livingston’s Off Broadway “Playhouse 91” production “The Bridge” was a great success.
Eric, 8, of Burbank, heard that some people in distant lands were hungry. A young man of action, he wrote a play, sold 42 1/2 tickets at door to door in Toluca Woods at a dime each, and with four buddies as actors put on the show Saturday. The proceeds went to CARE.
* *
RAIN PATTER — A man on South Spring Street was wearing a raincoat and carrying an umbrella yesterday. That’s like wearing both belt and suspenders. Maybe it’s going to be a cautious year . . . Now they can take down those “No Smoking Please” signs at the entrances to mountain areas. They were rather ironic this year, anyway.
* *
MISCELLANY — Leo Schultz said it: “Give the Russians an inch and they’ll take a million miles” . . . The crew at a Wilmington coconut oil processing plant calls it the Copra Cabana . . . Tonight’s the night Sports Illustrated says hurray for Rafer Rafer Johnson, world decathlon champion. |
A group of grimly playful fellows at SC who call themselves Asthmatics Anonymous advise that at a raw-lunged meeting in the basement which serves as headquarters they have regrouped as Asthmatics Militant.
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