March 20, 1958

Perhaps you, too, have caught the lilting language of the missile
experts. To them a satellite or a missile is "the hardware." It is said
to be propelled by an "exotic" fuel.

Already such terminology is having an effect. Two L.A. men, homeward
bound on a United Air Lines plane, were overheard discussing the
stewardess’ "perigee" and "apogee." In case you forgot, these words
mean the points at which the orbit of a celestial body is at its
nearest and farthest distances from earth. They may not exactly have
been talking about missiles, but that’s what they said.

As missiles soar, the vocabulary is bound to expand. It could go on and
on, the sky being the limit. After all, these scientists live in the
land of the huggermugger.

And as for those nose cones on the satellites, they look mighty esoteric to me.

WORKMEN ARE refurbishing
Grauman’s Chinese Theater for the advent April 8 of the Cinemiracle
production "Windjammer." The other day they uncovered a lesser miracle
at the extreme right of the forecourt, which, as everyone knows,
abounds with footprints of the famous.

Underneath an advertising panel which had covered it for years they
found a footprint, a bare five-toed footprint, and alongside it the
name Pat.

This is to advise that blasphemous rascal Pat, whoever he is, that fame has come at last.

ON THE OTHER side
of a screen in the occupational therapy section of General Hospital,
Buck Hathaway heard a mixture of women’s voices. He isolated one
asking, "How much have you in that stack, Alice?" Then heard the reply,
"Well, altogether, $25,480." Another voice chimed in, "I’ve got $2,310
here." Another, "I’ve got $15,000 even."

These are not the kind of sums one usually hears around General
Hospital so Buck peeked. The ladies turned out to be Gamma Phi Beta
members headed by Mrs. James Seminoff, wife of the basketball referee,
counting about $100,000 worth of trading stamps and sales slips donated
for the orthopedic children’s ward. They’ll be turned in for athletic
equipment to help rehabilitate disabled youngsters.

ONE OF THE soiled
doves who frequent a Hill Street bat cave came in the other day, shaky
but buoyant. She’d had her first bout with the dreaded DTs, she
reported, and it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. All that happened was
that several large but quite friendly cats wearing hip boots kept
wanting to shake hands. When she extended her hand they dissolved.

Everybody felt much better.

OUT OF TOWNERS sometimes
get strange ideas about our little frontier. Price Norris,
Allegheny-Ludlum steel executive from Pittsburgh, admonished a car
rental agency at the Statler Hilton, "Please make sure I get one with
windshield wipers." He was assured all their cars have wipers.

"Oh," he said in all seriousness, "I understood they were optional out here."

AROUND TOWN — The
SC bookstore has reduced the price of a book titled "The Moon to Play
With" from $3.50 to 35 cents. Obviously Trojans would rather play with
other things … Opening of the Hollywood Rollerbowl April 9, said Joe
Yocam, "will launch a couple of thousand people into orbit" … From a
distance it looked to Rick Vance like two men were picketing a
barbershop just off the Ventura Freeway. As he got closer he saw their
signs stated, "This shop fair to average working man. Haircuts $1.25.
Boys $1. Dick and George’s Head-Quarters" … California may not agree
with Arizona on such things as Colorado River water rights but it has
approved the "annexation" of the 306 x 52-foot Grand Canyon Diorama at
Disneyland to our neighbor. The area will be officially proclaimed as
belonging to Arizona when it opens March 31.