Feb. 27, 1958

John Cusic, 25, a Northrop Aircraft worker, his wife, Irma, and their
daughter, Pamela, 5, drove to the downtown district of Fullerton one
day recently to pay some bills.

As Mrs. Cusic came out of a utilities office on Spadra Street, her
husband picked up a plastic pistol on the seat, pointed it playfully at
her and snarled in accepted gangster fashion, "Come on, get in!" Their
daughter plays Annie Oakley with the pistol.

They drove off and stopped at several more places to pay bills, unaware
that two teenage boys on bicycles had seen the pistol-pointing and
excitedly reported it and the car’s license number to police.

AS THEY stopped at a doctor’s office they noticed a police car behind them but thought nothing of it.

And then suddenly outside a market they were surrounded by three police
cars and five motorcycle officers. Red lights flashed and an officer
with his real gun drawn ordered them out of the car. He saw quickly
that the pistol was a toy, of course, and after a few questions the
tension dissipated.

But it proved a fine dry run for the gendarmes and a lesson for
everyone. The Cusics were "apprehended" 17 minutes after an APB went
out on the "kidnapping."

Hereafter they’re keeping the plastic pistol at home.

THE SOCIETY to Discourage Dimly Lit Restaurants will come to order.

A bon vivant named Tom ordered some canapes (it’s easier to spell than
hors d’oeuvres) in an elegant Palm Springs spa and a lady named Ann, a
member of the party, dipped what she thought was an Oriental tidbit
into the hot sauce and began chewing. Turned out to be a tiny Turkish
towel, pre-soaked in warm water, for wiping the hands after eating the
real canapes.

THE WAY George
Q. Ibid heard it, a Frenchman went into a wine shop and asked for his
favorite Bordeaux. He found it only in small bottles and asked if it
were available in larger sizes. "Oh yes," said the clerk, "we have the
bigger bottles in the cellar."

"Eh bien," beamed the Frenchman, "take me to your liter."

AND IF THAT doesn’t
shake you up, Bill Graydon has been speculating on  a possible
aftermath to the AP story from Hong Kong stating the Chinese Communists
have banned such degenerate, reactionary juke box tunes as "Love for
Sale" in favor of numbers like "I Want to Cooperate With My Commissar."

As Bill sees it, this harsh crackdown doubtless will cause the Peiping
sideburn set to reminisce about the good old days when their favorite
was "Give Me That Old Soft Chou."

AIRY NONSENSE — Lee
Goodman reports that when he boarded a plane in S.F. on what is
advertised as a "red carpet" flight to L.A. the stuff he walked on was
definitely linoleum … And while on a nonstop flight from S.F. to
Chicago, Jimmy Baker, producer of "Stars of Jazz" got to talking with
an elderly lady who thought she was going to L.A. Wrong plane, proving
it can happen.

AROUND TOWN — The
driver of a mail truck misjudged the distance as he stopped for a
pickup at Wilshire and Westlake Avenue and rammed the mailbox. Yep,
Jean Gelber said it: "The mail must go through!" … Bob Keeshan, who
portrays the 60-year-old Capt. Kangaroo on KNXT at 7 a.m. is only 30.
Incidentally, he used to be the Clarabelle of the Howdy Doody
children’s show … A bar on Pico Boulevard near Hoover which is
getting a face lift has a large sign in front, "Open During
Altercations." But all was peaceful as Bill Biggers drove by … A
knight in armor is picketing the Old Curiosity Shop, 8629 Melrose Ave.,
carrying a sign stating the place is "Unfair to Other Antique Dealers"
because its prices are so low. Only in L.A.